It's Good to be in Love
by ElleLaw
Summary: Alex Cabot has a shocking realization while away for a weekend with her friends; she has feelings for her best friend Casey Novak. Returning to the city, she tries to put her feelings behind her for the sake of her friendship but soon finds that to be harder than expected when Casey gets attacked one night in the office. What will happen when her true feelings come to light?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: New Story, yay! Hope you enjoy! We can all thank Blitz for this idea as well. :)**

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"Casey, no we can't stop again. Can you seriously not hold it until we get there?" Alex pleads as she drives towards the beach.

Casey sighs at her best friend, "Alex, come on! I am not five years old, when I say I have to go I have to go. So will you please pull over at the next gas station or random porter potty?"

"Ew, no. Don't even joke Casey." Alex cringes at the thought of a road side porter potty. "Fine next gas station I will stop. You, however, are not allowed to get anything to drink while in there especially not another coffee. You have turned a two hour drive into a five hour marathon."

"Oh good lord, Alex, it hasn't been that bad."

"Hmm, let's see there, Case. When I picked you up at your apartment you weren't ready. It took us about forty minutes to finally reach the car, then you begged me to stop at the first Starbucks we saw so you could get the world's largest coffee known to man, then just as we exit the city you have to pee…the first time…and now a little over an hour later we have to stop again because the giant bottle of water you got from the last gas station and power drank after getting back to the car of course made you have to pee again…Casey, I think it's fair to say you have a problem, or a bladder the size of an acorn. Seriously, how do you last through a trial?"

"Adult diapers," the redhead deadpans.

Alex's jaw drops at this admission as she looks over at her silently laughing friend. Seeing Alex's look of horror Casey can't hold it in any longer and begins hysterically laughing, "Oh, your face is priceless….Oh, you thought I was serious….I am going to pee I am laughing so hard."

"I hate you, Casey Novak."

Still fighting fits of laughter Casey says, "You love me and you know it. Gas station! Pull over."

Pulling over Alex sighs, "No drinks…" Smiling as she climbs out of the Range Rover Casey nods and runs inside. Watching the redhead run into the building Alex shakes her head. They sure did have one unique friendship.

Alex remembers the day she met Casey. Branch had just assigned her to Sex Crimes to help alleviate some of the mounds of cases Alex was constantly buried under. Having just survived Valez's death threat Alex wasn't necessarily excited to have Casey join her team and was not receptive to her overly involved nature with the detectives. At the time, if Alex had been honest with herself she would have realized that she was afraid Branch was trying to move her out of the unit after she had gotten so in over her head with the cartel that it almost cost her life, however she was stubborn and refused to accept that possibility.

After a week of giving Casey the cold shoulder and a terrible verbal lashing for upsetting a victim, Alex realized just how great of a prosecutor Casey was when she continued her battle for justice and ended up saving a little girls life. That evening when Alex had walked to Casey's office to apologize and offer to take her to dinner to congratulate her win, she found Casey crying at her desk. Alex ran to her side and listened to the younger attorney tell her that she just wasn't cut out for Sex Crimes that it was too much for her to handle. Casey didn't want SVU she wanted Homicide, Branch placed her knowing that she would be excellent help for Alex.

Alex sat with her then colleague until she composed herself and then finally convinced the redhead to join her for dinner. After that dinner she realized that she had an amazing partner in her unit. She fully respected Casey's stance on how to prosecute and loved her drive to seek justice. She told Casey about how hard this unit had been for her to handle when she joined. She even told Casey how much she was haunted by some cases like Sam Cavanaugh's and that she often times would visit a psychologist when her work life started to overwhelm her personal life. She told Casey things at that first dinner that she didn't even admit to Olivia or Abbie.

After that dinner, Casey and Alex started to work together on cases and soon had the highest conviction rates in the DA's office. They were a power team and the more time they spent together the better friends they became. Eventually there was no question that Casey Novak had somehow become Alex Cabot's best friend, something Alex had never had before then. She had friends, great friends, but never a best friend because she never let anyone know all the deep personal parts of her life, of her psyche before Casey Novak.

Watching Casey reemerge from the gas station Alex shook her head. The redhead was walking up with a case of water and three two liters of coke. Hoping out of the car to open the tailgate for her Alex asked, "So what's all of this for Case?"

"So we don't have to stop again. Coke for the rum and coke's I plan to drink all weekend and a secret stash of water for our rooms!"

"Nice thinking." Alex said closing the tailgate. "Let's hit the road before everyone else is super drunk before we get there."

"Deal! Do you think Liv will bring out the English accent again if she gets tanked this year?" Casey asks with a big grin as she buckles her seatbelt.

"Oh God, I hope so. This year I am keeping my phone on me at all times so I can get all the damning evidence."

Casey laughs hard, "Just make sure you don't collect evidence on us."

"Deal Counselor, deal."

Forty minutes later they pulled up to the beach house. It had become a tradition with their friends to all get away for at least one long weekend a year to relax and just have girl time. No significant others, with the exception of Abbie and Serena because they were dating, were invited, well no men at least. So here they were walking up to the house, bags on shoulders, for one long relaxing weekend with the girls.

Opening the door, Casey hears Olivia instantly call out, "Cabot and Novak finally made it!"

"I win!" Abbie screams from down the hall.

"Damnit, you two couldn't have driven around the block for another 30 minutes could you?" Kim sighed as she plopped down on the couch, "You owe me twenty dollars Cabot."

"You all were betting on how long it was going to take us to get here? I don't know how I feel about that." Casey states taking a seat across from Kim as Olivia walks up and hands her a beer.

"Don't take it personally," Olivia starts, "It's just you and Alex are never on time for anything unless it's court then you are an hour early."

Alex laughs as she walks to the kitchen to grab her own beer and join her friends, "Yeah well that's all because Novak has a bladder the size of an acorn and is never ready on time."

"Hey, okay I give you the whole bladder acorn thing, but being ready on time is always Jason's fault. He likes to enjoy me before I go out of town, what can I say." Casey quips back at Alex with a smirk.

"Gag, is what I say." Abbie replies with a puking motion as she pushes Kim's legs from the couch as she sits. Kim frowns and moves to the other end as she asks, "Where is Serena? I need a buffer between us."

"Down the hall, she is putting on her sexy black bikini. I love seeing her in it and taking her out of it." Abbie says.

"Abbie!" Serena chastises walking down the hall in a cover up, "No one wants to know every thought in your head babe. That only works in court."

Abbie smiles as she pulls her girlfriend into her lap. "But it's so hard when it's about you."

"Now I am going to be sick." Alex states before taking a giant sip of her beer.

"You are just jealous Cabot. When are you going to start dating again?" Serena questions.

Alex shrugs as she puts her feet up on the coffee table, "I don't know. I am tired of random dates. I am taking a hiatus until I find the right girl, she's out there I just haven't met her yet."

"You'll find the right person Alex." Casey says with a sympathetic smile. She knew more than anyone else how much Alex missed being in a relationship and was ready to settle down. She really wanted her friend to be happy.

Shaking her head Alex retorts, "Yeah, well let's not forget Kim and Olivia are single too! No need to focus on me only here."

"They don't count." Abbie jokes, "Olivia is in love with a married man and Greylek I have decided is asexual."

"Hey!" Olivia and Kim yell in unison.

"I am not asexual, I am plenty sexual. I just am in love with a guy that lives on the other side of the freaking country." Kim groans.

"You know you could move out there with him Kim. He is trying to move back here but there isn't a job yet for him." Casey says with a sad smile.

"I know. But my job is here and his is there and the whole long distance thing was impossible. Ugh, I just wish Owen was here now." Kim sighs as she stands and walks into the kitchen to make a real drink.

"Geez, Abb's you drove her to the hard liquor at 4pm with your big mouth." Olivia says.

"Eh, what can I say, I need a bigger filter. Hey, Kim I am sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive." Abbie apologizes.

Kim waves her off as she fixes her drink and pulls some strawberries out of the fridge. "Don't worry Abbie. You aren't pointing out anything to me that I don't already know. I'm a big girl I can handle it."

"Okay, well let's figure out what we are doing for dinner before Kimberly gets totally drunk." Olivia offers.

* * *

Arriving back at the house after dinner, Alex finds herself sitting on the outdoor loveseat next to Casey while she and her friends all play a ridiculous drinking game. "Okay, okay, okay…I've got it now…never have I ever been skinny dipping." Alex states as she holds up her mixed drink.

"Damn you Cabot, you're out to get me drunk aren't you." Serena states as she takes a big sip of her drink.

"Always Serena…" Alex smirks.

"Alright, you all have the right to remain silent because it's my turn." Olivia begins, "Never have I ever been in a long distance relationship."

"Boring!" Casey yells clearly already drunk.

"Fuck you." Kim flatly states taking a drink. She's drunk but can hold her liquor seemingly well.

Abbie looks to Serena and says, "Cheers baby," as they both take a big gulp and follow it with a kiss.

Abbie laughs as her turn comes up, "Okay since Novak clearly wants to get to the more fun questions and is dying to have Alex hold her hair back all night…drumroll please," Serena starts to bang her hands on the table, "never have I ever gone down on a guy."

"Aw, fuck Abbie." Serena says taking a big swig as Abbie's eyes go wide.

"What? When?" Abbie gasps as Olivia, Casey and Kim also take big swigs.

Alex proceeds to laugh hysterically at Abbie's utter shock in her girlfriend's admission. Looking at Casey, she says, "I think this game is actually getting fun now."

"See," Casey says stressing the 'e', "I told you it was a fun game." Alex smiles at her glossed eyed friend.

"Serena, tell me…" Alex hears Abbie whine.

"Fine, it was high school. I had a boyfriend for a couple of months anyway after that I broke up with him. I realized when I wanted to puke after that I needed to face the facts." Serena states.

"I can't believe I didn't know." Abbie states still shocked, then getting a glint in her eye she leans closer to her girlfriend and tries to drunkenly whisper, "Do you have any other secrets?"

Serena laughs and pushes Abbie off, "You will just have to try to guess. Okay, my turn…" Serena drums her fingers on her knee thinking. "Okay, never have I ever had sex on the beach."

Alex, Kim, and Olivia drink. While Abbie gapes at Serena again, "Seriously?"

"Abbie this isn't 'ask Serena a ton of questions' it's never have I ever. Keep some of your shock for later." Serena answers.

"No, come on now," Abbie says grabbing Serena's had as she laughs and follows Abbie out onto the dark beach.

"Well, we won't see them till morning now." Olivia says sitting back.

"Yep," Kim states, "Well I think I am going to head to bed." As Kim stands to walk inside Casey calls out, "Hey Kim, tell Owen I say hi. Oh, and tell him to call mom she's worried about him as usual."

Kim smiles, "Sure thing."

As Kim walks into the house, Olivia looks at her two friends. "So Casey, how are you and Mr. Whitaker doing really?"

Casey smiles, "Good. Honestly, I think he might propose soon."

"Really?" Alex exclaims sitting up straight. Olivia can sense Alex's displeasure at this knowledge even if Casey doesn't pick up on it. No one really likes Jason, especially Alex because she doesn't think he treats Casey well enough, but no one directly mentions it to Casey.

"Yeah, I caught him the other day trying on my rings. So either he wants to get a ring for himself, or he was trying to gauge my ring size." Casey replies taking another big sip.

"Well, congratulations I guess. Or I guess congratulations will soon be in order. Anyway, let me know if it happens." Olivia stumbles over her words.

Alex still looks plagued by this information. "Casey, are you sure you want to marry him?"

"Why wouldn't I Alex?" the redhead questions. Looking directly at Alex and trying to gauge her reaction to the information, Casey is seriously cursing herself for drinking so much. She can't tell what Alex is feeling and it's driving her nuts.

"I don't know Casey. Listen, I am tired. I am going to go to bed. See you two in the morning." Alex stands and heads upstairs.

Casey looks over to Olivia, "So are you and Elliot still having an affair?"

Olivia's eyes go shock wide. "You cannot tell anyone what you just said. Ever! You were never supposed to see us."

"Isn't that why it's called an affair?" Casey questions with a laugh.

"For your information we are not having an affair. It was a one-time thing and you walked in on it. It hasn't happened since and he is getting back with Kathy now. I would never come between him and Kathy getting back together."

"Okay, okay. Got it. Just wanted to check. Well Liv, I am going to head to bed myself. Don't wait up for the beach love birds." Casey says with a laugh as she wobbly stands.

"Never did I ever intend to." Liv replies following Casey inside.

Casey stumbles up the stairs to her and Alex's rooms. Their rooms were connected with a bathroom so it made it super easy for her to barge right on into her best friend's bedroom without knocking. Falling onto Alex's bed, Casey sighs, "Okay Ally, tell me what is bothering you."

"Ally, really? Only my mother calls me that Casey." Alex says rolling over to face her friend.

Casey smiles, and whispers, "I know that's why I said it. It was guaranteed to get your attention and make you stop fake sleeping. So why did you get upset when I told you I thought Jason was going to propose."

Alex frowns. She doesn't think it's fair for Casey to outsmart her like that. Finally she replies, "Because he doesn't treat you well enough Casey. You are always complaining about how he never wants to do anything fun with you and how he never does anything sweet, but he is going to propose and you are going to say yes. I just think you are selling yourself short Case."

"You may be right Alex, but it's not like I have a huge line of people wanting to ask me out. I want to eventually have a family Alex."

Brushing a lock of hair from Casey's face, Alex smiles, "Casey you are 28, don't sell yourself short. Just take some time to think about it. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to settle for the person you are supposed to share that amazing life with?"

Casey smiles at her friend. "Alex, I am truly blessed to call you my best friend. Thank you."

"Anytime Case," Alex says sitting up sensing Casey still wanted to talk.

Moving to join Alex in a sitting position, Casey looks her best friend in the eyes. Alex can really see just how drunk Casey is despite her ability to speak when Casey looks like she is trying to get the room to stop spinning. "Casey, I think you need to go to bed."

"I have to drink water first, plus I wanted to ask you a question." Casey admits.

"Oh really, and what is that question?" Alex asks as she goes to get Casey some water. Returning with two bottles of water, she opens one bottle and passes it to Casey. Casey takes a big sip and looks at Alex. Alex sees a blush crossing Casey's face and smiles. Whatever Casey wants to ask her must be embarrassing to her, because blushing is Casey's number one tell. "Casey, whatever it is you can ask me. I won't judge you."

"Okay," Casey says biting her lip, "Do you always come when you have sex?"

Totally not expecting this question Alex spits out the mouthful of water she had just taken a sip of all over Casey. "Oh my God, I am so sorry Casey. I didn't expect you to ask that."

"Oh, you are so getting me something really-really nice for my birthday now. That was" she pauses to wipe herself off with Alex's sheet, "so nasty."

Alex can only laugh at the absolute look of disgust on Casey's face. "Oh you think that is so funny huh?" Casey says with an evil look in her eye.

"No," Alex states firmly as Casey takes a big sip of water, "No Casey," she pleads trying to back away on the bed but she is tangled in the sheets, "No Casey!" she squeals as Casey spews the water all over her.

"Oh gross!" Alex squeals as Casey collapses next to her laughing hysterically.

"I told you it was gross." Casey says between fits of laughter watching Alex clean herself off.

Leaning over Casey, Alex looks her squarely in the eyes, "You are in for it now Novak."

"Oh am I," Casey states staring right back into Alex's blue eyes.

"Yes," Alex replies firmly.

Before the blonde even knows what is happening Casey has her flipped on her back with her arms pinned above her head. Alex thinks it was meant to be playful as usual, but the sudden change in positions has her breathing slowly as she sees the change in Casey's eyes. No longer are her green eyes filled with humor and the laughter of a few seconds prior. They are now darkened with a look of lust, and before Alex can fully register what is happening Casey's lips are pressed to hers.

At first Alex doesn't kiss back. She is completely taken off guard by everything that is occurring, but as the seconds pass and she find her hands released as Casey is now running her hands down over Alex's body Alex finds herself consumed in the moment. Feeling Casey's soft lips against hers and taking her lip between hers, feeling Casey's tongue dart against her lips asking for entrance that she willfully gives into suddenly seems so right and so amazing. As Casey's hands tangle in Alex's hair, Alex pulls her tight against her body. She feels so perfect pressed into her as if they should always be this close and this intimate. Finally breaking apart for air, Casey looks back into Alex's blue eyes letting the haze of the moment pass.

As realization of what she has done sets in, Casey quickly pushes back and runs her hands through her hair as she tightly swallows. "Um, Alex, I am sorry. I don't know what came over me. I am going to go to bed." As quickly as she finishes her statement she climbs off the bed and leaves.

Alex lies there quiet and still as she watches Casey leave. She hasn't seen Casey so drunk in a long time so she highly doubts she will remember any of this in the morning, but she is shocked by everything that just happened. Running her fingers up to feel her lips, Alex can't believe Casey Novak just kissed her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well I was going to wait until tomorrow but some wonderful readers – Doc Court,** **Eljh55** **, and Tracer0403 – asked me so nicely to update soon and well I hate to let my wonderful fantastic reader down. So here's to you all! Enjoy! Let me know what you think. Reviews keep me writing for sure. :) P.S. Loved hearing how much you all enjoyed the last story and last chapter, you totally made my weekend!**

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Alex didn't sleep much that night. All she could do was keep thinking about the fact that Casey kissed her. All she could imagine was the feel of Casey's lips against hers and how amazing she felt pressed against her body. She was haunted by the feel of Casey's hands running across her body and tangled into her hair and the feel of Casey's body beneath her fingertips. It was these images and memories that kept Alex from falling asleep until 5am.

The next morning Alex awoke to Casey climbing in bed next to her. She did not open her eyes to see the redhead, but she knew it was her anyway from her groans of pain. She was sure her best friend was hung over no doubt.

"Alex, do you have any Advil? My head is killing me. How much did we drink last night?" Casey whispered.

"Hmm, too much Casey…way too much…" Alex groans as she climbs out of bed and stumbles into the bathroom to get her makeup bag. Refusing to turn on the light Alex feels around for the pills Casey and her desperately need. Pouring eight into her hand she walks back into the bedroom grabbing a bottle of water and closing the shutters to block out the morning sun. Taking her pills herself with a big gulp of water she passes the other four to Casey along with the water.

Casey takes the pills and asks, "What all happened last night? The last thing I remember is starting to play Never Have I Ever."

Alex sighs. She knew Casey wasn't going to remember anything and it was probably for the best. If she had remembered the kiss then there friendship would probably be permanently over or at least awkward because Casey would be so self-conscious. Although, Alex wanted to desperately know what caused Casey to kiss her. That kiss felt like it had so many tangled feeling wrapped into it that it literally was driving her mad. Crawling back into bed next to Casey, Alex fixed a pillow under her head and closed her eyes.

"Alex, I asked you what happened." Casey whispers lightly flicking her finger nail over the blondes nose.

"Sleep now, talk later Case." Alex whispered back letting her hangover pull her quickly back into sleep.

Casey looks over the blonde. She feels like something may have happened, but is really unsure of what it might be at this moment. She feels like some important memory is sitting just out of reach, but can't be sure. Finally realizing how tired she was, she closed her eyes and drifted into sleep with Alex too tired to move back to her own bed.

About two hours later, Alex starts to stir awake. She is relieved to find that her head is no longer hurting and feels like she has just managed to steal some of the best sleep of her life. As all of her senses begin to become aware of her surroundings she realizes she is wrapped in someone's arms and that someone is Casey.

Alex instantly feels her heart rate shoot through the roof as she tries to peel herself from Casey's embrace. Finally, freeing herself she runs into the bathroom and softly closes the door. Turning on the shower, Alex begins to pace the small room. Running her hands through her hair she tugs lightly at the ends trying to release her stress. She is so confused right now. Why did she panic when she realized Casey was sleeping with her?

It wasn't abnormal for Casey or her to crash at one another's apartments and it wasn't abnormal for them to crash in each other's beds. They were best friends. Plus, Casey was a habitual snuggler. Alex had joked a year ago that at least someone snuggled with her. What was going on? Was it just this kiss?

Alex shook her head and quickly peeled her pajamas from herself. Stepping under the warm spray she allowed the water to wash away the remnants of the night before. She had to let it go, whatever it was that was driving her mad. Casey was drunk and wasn't in control of herself. If she was she never would have kissed her so the sooner Alex let it go the better.

"Hey Alex!" Casey called out weakly into the steam filled room.

"Yeah Case?"

"I am coming in to pee. Just didn't want to freak you out and make you think the boogie man was trying to get you." Casey replied with a light chuckle at her own joke.

Alex sighed putting her face directly under the water. What the hell was she going to do about all of this? Quickly calming her nerves, Alex calls out, "Is anyone else up?"

"I don't know. Did Abbie and Serena sleep on the beach? I vaguely remember that happening. Did that happen?" Casey asked.

Alex took a deep breath. Casey hated blacking out and normally Alex would recount the whole night's worth of events for her if it happened. It always made Casey feel better. Although, this time was different, this time the biggest event of the night happened between them. What was she supposed to say?

"Alex do I need to send a search and rescue team in after you? Why are you so quiet this morning? Did I do something?" Casey asks worry evident in her voice.

Alex pokes her head out to find the redhead sitting on the floor with her back pressed against the wall. The blonde shakes her wet head and says, "No Casey, you are fine. I am so quiet, because I am trying to remember what happened last night myself. I think Abbie took Serena to the beach but I am not sure. We will find out when we go downstairs. Okay?"

Casey smiled weakly back at Alex. She knew Alex was lying to her. She knew Alex Cabot way to well. When her brow line furrowed like it did she was always trying to convince the person she was talking to into believing her. Usually she used it on victims or other attorneys, never on her. Whatever happened the night before had upset Alex and Casey didn't know what it was and that disturbed her. What had happened?

Standing Casey tells Alex she is going to make some coffee. Once Alex heard the bathroom door close she sat on the floor of the tub. She felt physically ill and it wasn't from the hangover. She was sick because she had just lied to Casey and she never lied to Casey. She always told Casey Novak the truth about everything. She never hid from Casey, but now she was and it was killing her. Laying her head against her knees she takes a deep breath and pulls herself together.

Casey walks downstairs and into the kitchen. Seeing the clock on the stove she realizes she and Alex slept a lot later than she had imagined seeing as it was 11:30 already. Quickly fixing a pot of coffee Casey sits at the counter and rests her head in her hands. Hearing footsteps approaching she looks up to see Olivia approaching, smiling she says, "Good morning detective."

"More like almost afternoon," Olivia hums, "Did Abbie and Serena ever make it back from the beach last night?"

"They did go to the beach! Great one memory retrieved. What else happened?" Casey asks enthusiastically.

Olivia winces in pain from Casey's suddenly loud voice, "Tone it down Novak. I may not be full on hung-over, but I still have a headache from mixing to many variations of alcohol. How did you black out and wake up this perky?"

"I didn't wake up this perky, I woke up with a pounding head and Alex gave me lots of Advil, but that was some hours ago. By the way, did something happen last night?" Casey asks.

Olivia quirks an eyebrow trying to remember everything, "Well, we went to dinner and hung out at the bar for a while, came back and wanted to play a drinking game and you decided on Never Have I Ever which Alex had somehow never played. Abbie found out Serena hadn't had sex on the beach and dragged her off into the dark, Kim left to call and pine over your brother and oh yeah, you told Alex and me that you thought Jason was going to propose."

Casey's eyes went wide as memories started to flash back through her mind. She did tell Alex that and Alex left to go to bed and Casey went after her. Suddenly all the pieces fall into place and Casey remembers what it is Alex isn't telling her, she kissed her. She kissed Alex Cabot and not just any kiss, a seriously passionate kiss. What had she done?

"Casey, are you okay?" Olivia questions the redhead.

"Yeah, I am just a little embarrassed is all. I can't believe I mentioned that. I mean I don't even know if he really is going to propose." Casey answers as she quickly turns to pour her coffee.

Hearing footsteps come down the stairs Casey turns to see a smiling Alex. "Morning ladies," the blonde greets cheerfully. Quickly pouring a cup of coffee Casey walks past Olivia and Alex.

"I am going to go get cleaned up myself," Casey says as she hurries up the stairs.

Olivia looks over Alex and observes how the blonde is overly trying to act natural. "What's going on Alex?" Olivia questions.

Alex stands and makes her way to the coffee, "I don't know Liv. I need more to go on, what are you referencing?"

"Um, okay, you and Casey. Normally, you two are laughing and joking. Not this morning though you two are acting weird." Olivia states flatly.

Alex shrugs, "We woke up with bad hang overs and I treated us with Advil. She just can't remember stuff from last night is all. You know how Casey gets when she black out. It makes her all uneasy, and well I can't really remember stuff either so I am not that helpful to her this morning. Everything will calm down Liv. Don't worry."

"You are lying to me Cabot. Why? What happened? You might have been drunk, but not drunk enough to black out. So spill it." Olivia deadpanned.

Alex looked in Liv's eyes, she knew she was fucked. There was no way to get out of answering Olivia's questions when she went into full on cop mode. Taking a breath she sighed, "Casey came into my room to talk last night and we were talking and starting to goof around and she kissed me."

Olivia's eyes went wide as her mouth formed an 'o' in shock. "You are kidding me? No she didn't. What does that mean?" Olivia asked.

"Not kidding and no idea. She doesn't remember and I don't want to tell her. If it was a total accident she is liable to freak out and not want to be my friend anymore. Plus I don't know what I feel about it, so I sure as hell don't want to say anything." Alex admits.

Olivia nods, "Okay, okay. Well, you don't have to say anything Alex. Calm down. I will help you cover. She was asking me earlier what happened and I told her that she mentioned Jason was going to propose, just play it off that you two had a disagreement about that, it would be believable."

Blowing out a deep breath Alex says, "I can't lie to her again. Once was bad enough. I will figure something out."

"What on earth is all the chatter about out here?" Abbie asks emerging from her and Serena's room.

"Hey, you made it back okay! Is Serena with you?" Alex asks.

"No, she is with Kim. The early birds went shopping. They should be back within the hour they said they would bring back lunch." Abbie says sitting at the counter.

"Great, I didn't feel like fixing food." Olivia says moving to the couch.

Alex looks outside at the beach. "I am going to go for a walk on the beach. I will be back in a bit." Walking out the back doors Alex is enveloped in the smell of the salty air. She has always loved the beach and felt at home since she was a child. She loved it when her parents would take her. She and her father would play in the water and her mother and her would build sand castles and walk the beach for hours looking for shells. It always felt so magical and so rejuvenating.

Walking along the water's edge Alex kept thinking about the previous night. She couldn't help but remember the look in Casey's eyes before she kissed her. It was this feral like look of want and passion. She couldn't forget the shocking feel of Casey's soft lips pressed against hers. It felt so amazing to kiss her, so amazing to touch her in that way. That's when it dawned on Alex.

Sitting down just outside of the waters reach Alex realized the reason the kiss bothered her so much. It is because it made her finally realize her number one problem. She had feelings for Casey, romantic feelings. But Alex couldn't have romantic feelings for Casey, because Casey was her best friend. Casey was her confidant, Casey was her everything. How had she not realized this earlier?

She had to let it go. Casey was with Jason. Jason was getting ready to propose and Casey already told Alex she was going to say yes. So, Alex had to let it go. She would never be with Casey in a romantic way, and unless she wanted to push away her best friend, the one person she was closest to in this world she had to bury her feelings. She didn't want to lose Casey's friendship over a drunken meaningless kiss, even if the kiss meant volumes to Alex.

Standing, Alex brushed herself off and walked back towards the house. After walking a little ways, she noticed Casey walking towards her. She could tell Casey was really upset. Standing before her Alex asked, "Casey, are you alright?"

"No, Alex. Listen, I am sorry about whatever went on last night. We don't have to talk about it I just want to make sure we are okay." Casey asks nervously. Knowing that Alex obviously doesn't want to admit they kissed, Casey figured this was the best roundabout way of apologizing for it without having to say what it was that happened.

Alex bites her lip wondering if Casey remembered the kiss but shakes it off. If she remembered the kiss she would say something surely since she initiated it. Finally Alex says, "Casey, you don't have to apologize for anything. Nothing could ever come between us Casey, you are my best friend. I will always love you and be here for you." As Alex finishes she takes Casey into her arms and hugs her tight.

Casey lays her head on Alex's shoulder and lets out a sigh of relief. She was so worried that her actions had pushed Alex away forever. She was so happy that she was wrong about that. Letting out a sigh of relief Casey says, "I am so happy to hear that Alex, I don't know what I would do without you in my life."

"It's okay Casey, everything will be fine." Alex whispers. She wants to believe it is the truth so she says it like it's the truth, but the way her heart beat speeds up with feeling Casey in her arms says it might be more difficult than she would like to admit. Alex finally realizes she has found the girl of her dreams and can't have her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Glad to know that you all are enjoying this story so far. I know I am having fun with it. Sorry it took so long to get this one out, enjoy! :)**

* * *

 **Later that afternoon…**

Casey sat on the beach next to Kim reading a book while Abbie and Olivia swam in the water. Alex was fixing a salad with Serena for their dinner in tonight. They would be heading down to the beach in a bit. Looking over to her friend, Casey saw how content and happy Kim looked lying in the sun.

"Okay Kim spill it, why are you so happy?" Casey asks.

Kim smiles wide, "Owen has an interview at Bellevue. I wasn't supposed to tell you so don't let on. He didn't want to get you or your mom's hopes up."

Casey laughed, "That jerk. He knows I hate surprises. So, why did you tell me?"

"You asked."

"Who would have thought Kim Greylek can't keep a secret."

Kim smiled, "I can keep plenty of secrets when I want to, but I don't want to. He might get a job here and we can be together finally! I want to scream about it to everyone. Hell, I told the cashier today at the grocery store." As Kim finishes she is softly laughing.

Casey is happy to see her friend so happy and in love. She wonders why she doesn't ever feel that way about Jason. Something she doesn't understand is why thinking of Jason never manages to make her giddy happy. Maybe she just isn't that kind of person.

"Ah, here comes Alex." Kim says touching Casey's arm and pointing towards the house.

Looking that way, Casey sees Alex walking down the porch steps and towards the beach. The blonde looks her best friend over feeling her heart rate speed up a little. Alex looks stunning in her white crocheted white cover up and navy bikini. Casey shakes her head a little did she really just check her friend out. What the hell has gotten into her?

Standing Casey looks to Kim, "I am going for a swim. I have to cool off."

As Casey heads into the water, Olivia and Abbie exit. "Hey I am going to run and grab us a bucket of beers and drag my girl back with me," Abbie calls out to Casey.

"Great, I am just cooling off."

Olivia sits next to Kim while Abbie continues on to the house passing Alex. Alex reaches Olivia and Kim and sits down. "Salad is finished. Why is Casey swimming alone?" she asks.

Kim looks up at the water, "She said she needed to cool off."

"Ha, she needed to cool off and I needed to warm up. The water is cold." Olivia sighed soaking up the sun.

Alex looks out at the water watching Casey. She hates to swim alone she is always afraid of sharks, she always feels safer if someone else is out in the water to be shark bait. Smiling Alex stands and pulls off her cover up. "I am going to join her. Be back in a bit."

"You're going to freeze!" Olivia calls out. She knew something more was going on between Alex and Casey, something more than a kiss. She saw how shook up both women were this morning after the kiss. Then how much more relaxed and calm they were after meeting on the beach earlier. Something was definitely up. Watching Alex reach the water and seeing the excited look on Casey's face as the blonde jumps in next to her and surfaces with a look of utter shock as the cold water sends her senses into overdrive Olivia is certain there is something more going on.

"Oh my God, Casey it's so cold!" Alex shrieks.

All Casey can do is laugh, "Did you think it would be warm?"

"No!" Alex shrieks standing in the water to try and free some of her body from the cold. Casey looks over Alex's now wet form her breath catching in her throat at the sight. What the hell is wrong with her?

Trying to take control of the situation Casey jumps from the water and throws herself onto Alex knocking her back under the water. As they surface Alex screams, "Novak you are a dead woman." Laughing Casey responds, "Only if you can catch me!" As she stands and tries to run through the water quickly being taken down by Alex.

Olivia sits on the beach watching the scene between her two friends. Alex hates cold water. Olivia knows the only reason Alex is out there is for Casey's sake. Watching them play in the water Olivia realizes her friends clearly have feelings for one another but don't want to admit them. Smiling she lays down on her towel.

* * *

 **The next afternoon…**

Casey sat in the passenger seat of Alex's car flipping through their phones looking at photos and video from their trip. The majority of the photos were funny and had her and Alex laughing the whole drive. As she got to the end of Alex's pictures she found a really sweet one of her and Alex after they'd played in the water the day before.

They were sitting together on the beach and Alex leaned over and took the picture of them. Sitting so close that their cheeks were almost touching, they both wore goofy smiles and were clearly enjoying themselves. It was a really cute picture of her and her best friend.

"Hey Alex, can you make me a copy of this photo. It's a really good picture of us and I want to frame it." Casey asks showing Alex.

Alex smiles, "I think that's my favorite picture from the whole trip Casey. No problem."

Setting the phones down Casey sits back in her seat and looks out the window at the passing landscape. Alex can tell her friend is in deep thought and she would love to know what about. "Case, is something bothering you?" Alex asks.

"I don't know Alex. I have just been thinking a lot lately. Do you ever wonder if you are making the right decisions?" Casey asks.

Alex nods, "Yeah Casey I do from time to time. What are you so worried about?"

Casey takes a deep breath as she looks towards Alex, "Olivia reminded me that I told you and her that I caught Jason trying on my rings and I thought he might propose. Well, my first instinct if he does is to say yes, but I am worried that might not be the right decision."

"Casey does Jason make you happy?" Alex asks. It's not the response she wants to give Casey, but it's the one that she feels is right. She wants to scream 'don't marry him Casey' but thinks that would only confuse the redhead more.

Thinking about Alex's question Casey answers, "Yeah, I guess."

"It's not a guessing question Casey. So, what do you mean?" Alex critiques as she watches the road.

"He does make me happy when he spends time with me. It's just he's been so busy lately and he's gotten a little selfish. I just don't know sometimes. I mean I see Abbie and Serena together and they are ridiculous, then I see how Kim talks and acts about Owen and I hear Owen go on and on about Kim. I just don't feel that way about Jason. You know giddy ridiculous in love. I think if we got to spend more time together again it would be that way. Maybe we have just been together so long it changes or maybe I am just not that kind of girl." As Casey finishes her answer she leans against the door looking at Alex.

Alex shakes her head. "Casey seriously you need to think about what you want before you give him an answer. You don't need to marry him if you are unsure about your feelings Casey. You need to know that you want to spend every moment of your life with him. Just make sure he makes you happy and treats you well Casey. Whatever you decide Casey I will support you."

"Wow, Alex I wouldn't have expected you to answer that way."

"What's that mean?"

"Alex, I know you don't like Jason, but thanks for supporting me and my decisions." Casey answers.

Alex rolls her neck side to side and replies, "Casey, I will always support you and your decisions. Plus, Jason is well Jason. As long as he makes you happy and treats you right then I can be happy for you two. I will admit, that I think he has been doing a miserable job over the last year."

"He has really been working to make a name for him in his firm. It takes a lot for him to build his client base. He keeps telling me that it will only make life easier for him later if he works really hard now. I can't resent him for trying to get ahead. He use to make me really happy, and I am sure when work settles down for him we will get back there," as Casey finishes Alex sneaks a look at her and can see the frown on her face.

"Casey, you should be happy. There is nothing wrong with you. You are plenty loveable. Jason is just being selfish and focused on himself. You can build a career and name for yourself and still spend time with your partner. Trust me I have done it." Alex replies.

Casey looks over at her best friend, "Alex, why are you single. You have been single since I have known you and I know your ex broke your heart, but are you ever going to move on?"

Alex smiles at her friend's boldness in questions. "Casey you are the only person in the world that I allow to be so direct with me. I told you, I have no attention to date again until I find the right person. The person that I feel is worthy of my time."

Casey laughs, "How do you expect to find anyone if you never date Alex."

"Who says I haven't already found someone?"

"Me. If you had you would have told me"

Alex looks over at her friend and gives her a big grin. Casey's eyes go wide, "Alexandra Cabot are you hiding something from me?"

Alex starts laughing, "Never Casey, never."

* * *

 **Later that night…**

Casey lay on her couch watching television and eating a pizza. She was so exhausted from her weekend and was preparing to go to bed early. Flipping through the channels she finally found a show she wanted to watch. Just as she was settling in she heard a knock at the door.

Standing and crossing the room to the door the knock came again louder. "I am coming," Casey called out.

"Move faster!" Casey hears Jason yell through the door.

Shaking her head she opens the door. "Hello to you to honey." Casey says opening the door.

Pushing past the redhead, Jason Whitaker enters his girlfriend's apartment. Walking over to the couch he picks up the television remote changing the channel. Jason snaps, "Don't get your panties in a wad Casey. You know you were taking your sweet ass time to the door." Grabbing a piece of pizza he puts his feet up on the coffee table and sits back.

"Jason, I am really tired. I was actually getting ready for bed." Casey replies weakly.

Jason laughs, "Bed? You can't go to bed yet. I haven't gotten my piece of welcome home Casey."

"You are kidding me right? I have been home since 5pm. It's 10:30, it's a Sunday, you could have come over hours ago Jason, but you show up now and you want to get laid? Go home Jason." Casey says as she walks into the bathroom and turns on the sink.

Walking into the bathroom, Jason wraps his arms around Casey's waist and kisses her neck. "You know I love it when you get hot and bothered. It really turns me on."

Rolling her eyes, Casey reaches for her face wash. Squirting some in her hands she starts to rub it into her face ignoring her boyfriend's attempts. Moving to rinse her face, Jason sighs stepping to the side.

"Seriously Casey? You are going to blow me off. I drive all the way across town to your dumpy apartment and you aren't going to have sex with me." Jason gripes again.

Drying her face, Casey looks at him. "Maybe next time you will show up earlier. I have to be in the office early tomorrow Jason. I don't get the luxury of sleeping in if I please. Now if you want to join me in bed, I would be happy to snuggle with you but I can't stay up all night having sex. Come over early tomorrow if you want to try again."

"You are fucking kidding me Casey." Jason says walking across the apartment to the door. "No, I am not staying to sleep on your crappy mattress, and you know I hate to snuggle Casey. Tomorrow after work, come to my place. Pack a bag, when I am done with you it will be too late for you to go home."

He doesn't wait for Casey to answer before leaving. As he walks out the door Casey moves to lock it. Walking into her bedroom she picks up her phone and calls Alex. She doesn't know why she is calling her exactly, normally she keeps moments like these to herself but right now she really needs the comfort of her friend even if a lecture is bound to follow.

"Hello?" Alex says groggily over the phone.

"Did I wake you?" Casey asks shakily.

"Yeah, but I thank you for it. I fell asleep on the couch watching a Greys Anatomy. What's wrong? You sound upset." Alex asks as she sits up on her couch.

Casey takes a shaky breath. Hearing Alex's voice is making it hard for her not to cry. Jason wasn't normally such an ass but his words tonight really upset her. "Jason came over a minute ago and was being an ass. I am just upset." Casey says as she starts to cry.

"Try and relax Casey, I will be right over." Alex says as she puts on her shoes and grabs her keys.

"Alex…it's late…you don't need to come over." Casey replies still crying.

Alex looks at the time as she heads to the door, Casey's right it is late. Turning around she runs into her room and grabs an outfit for tomorrow and throws it all in her unpacked makeup bag with a pair of heels. Heading back to the door, Alex says, "I am coming Casey. See you in fifteen."

Thirteen minutes later, Casey hears another knock at her door. Answering it she finds her best friend with a bag on her shoulder. Seeing Alex in the flesh, Casey bursts into tears. Alex wastes no time taking Casey into her arms as she tries to soothe her.

Locking the door, Alex helps Casey over to the couch and holds her tight until her crying subsides. "What did he do Casey?"

Casey filled Alex in on what had occurred in between little bouts of crying. "I don't know why it upsets me so much Alex. But the way he was just expecting me to put out and implying my apartment was crappy and my bed sucked, ugh it was too much. I must just really be tired and hormonal or something," Casey sighed.

Alex frowned and pulled Casey into a tight hug. Controlling her words, Alex said, "Casey he hurt your feelings. You are allowed to cry and be upset. I am proud of you for standing your ground and not giving into his pig headedness."

Casey chuckles a little, "Thanks Alex. You want to stay here tonight since it's already 11:30?"

"I brought a bag Casey just for that. Come on let's get to bed you need some sleep." Alex says walking into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. As she walked into Casey's bedroom and lay down next to Casey she could tell Casey was still upset.

"Come here Casey," Alex says opening her arm and motioning for Casey to snuggle into her. "I can tell you are still upset and you love to snuggle, so come on. Maybe it will help you feel better."

Snuggling into Alex, Casey lets out a deep breath. "Thank you Alex," she starts, "you always know how to make me feel better."

Alex smiles pulling Casey tight, "I'd do anything for you Casey. You are my best friend." Holding Casey tight, Alex couldn't help but think that Casey was way more than a friend to her, or at least she wanted her to be more than a friend. She really had to keep these feelings in check, especially if Casey intended to marry Jason. At least tonight, Alex got to hold Casey in her arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: It's a short chapter tonight. I will try to make up for it tomorrow. Sick kids and no sleep. So tired… Anyway…Ready…set…GO hate Jason!**

* * *

 **The next morning…**

Alex walked down the hall at the DA's office with a giant smile on her. She was carrying two coffees and a bag of muffins. They were Casey's favorite muffins from the coffee shop three blocks away…Casey's favorite coffee shop. If anyone saw Alex right now they would definitely know she was in a great mood today.

Honestly, Alex didn't think anything could put her in a bad mood today. Not even being held in contempt of court could bring her down. She slept so well last night at Casey's apartment, so well in fact that they both woke up late and had to rush to get to work on time this morning. Alex was always in a great mood when she slept well.

Turning down the last hallway to head to Casey's office, she saw a delivery man exiting the room. Reaching the doorway, she lightly knocked on the frame waiting for her friend to invite her inside. "Hey," Casey called out a greeting from behind a giant arrangement of flowers.

"Hey, to you too," Alex said standing before Casey's desk, "Let me guess, peace offering from Jason?"

"How'd you guess?"

Alex passes Casey a cup of coffee and the bag of muffins before sitting across from her, "Good guess." It is clearly Jason's standby order for when he screws up with Casey but Alex doesn't feel like she needs to point out the obvious.

Casey opens the bag and finds her favorite muffins. "Oh Alex, you are so my best friend. I can't believe you walked three blocks in your heels to get me my favorite coffee and muffins. Why are you so good to me?"

Alex smiled at the redhead, "That's easy Casey; because you are my best friend and you needed a little something special this morning to cheer you up."

"Well, thank you Alex. You always know how to." Casey says with a smile as she bites into the coffee muffin. "These are seriously the best things in the world. Try a bite." Casey offers the muffin to Alex. The blonde leans in and takes a small bite nodding in agreement with her friend. "Do you want the other one?"

Alex smiled, "Casey, I got them to spoil you. It wouldn't count as doing something super nice to make you feel good if I took one of them."

"You got coffee?" Casey points out.

Walking to the doorway, Alex spins on her heel to face the younger woman, "Only because I didn't have enough time this morning to drink a cup. No rebuttals - enjoy the muffins Casey."

Watching the blonde walk out the door, Casey sat back in her chair enjoying her late breakfast. Alex sure did know how to cheer her up and make her feel special. She was a really amazing friend that way. Casey only wished Jason would put in as much thought as Alex did when he tried to cheer her up instead of going to his standby flowers.

* * *

 **Late that evening…**

Casey lay in Jason's bed looking at the ceiling. Thinking over the evening's events Casey finds she is most disappointed in herself. First, she feels like she should have made Jason work harder to have her come over. Then she should have made him take her out to a really nice dinner to continue making up for his behavior last night. After that, he should have had to romance her to bed.

Instead she showed up at his apartment as requested got a smack on the ass and told to have a seat on the couch as he ordered in Chinese. She didn't have anything against Chinese food, but he should have wined and dined her. After dinner he escorted her into the bedroom where the evening only seemed to only go down the drain for her. She spent ages going down on him to maybe get five minutes of him on her which of course he stopped right as she was beginning to near an orgasm only to be followed by a whopping ten minutes of really unsatisfying sex. Of course Jason thought it was a fantastic evening, and that she was phenomenal as usual. All Casey wanted to do was go home take a shower and go to bed.

Standing from the bed, she leaves his sleeping form behind as she walks into the bathroom. She wants nothing more than to go home, but it's late and she has had enough gruesome cases go across her desk to not chance going out to try and get a cab at this hour of the night. Instead she turns on the shower and while she waits for it to warm up to her liking she brushes her teeth. Looking into the mirror, she really begins to question her decision to stay in this relationship.

Climbing into the shower, Casey lets the water run over her body feeling as if the warm spray can wash away the night's disappointments. Jason use to treat her better and take her out to dinner and do nice things for her. Jason use to please her in the bedroom. There was a time when she would ache for him to touch her.

She ached now just thinking about those past times with him. Rinsing her hair Casey runs her hands down her body, over her breasts lightly pinching her nipples as she makes her way down running over her abdomen and between her legs. Slipping into her wet center Casey slides her fingers up to her throbbing clit as she leans against the wall. Starting with light little circles as she remembers how Jason use to touch her, she finds herself quickly speeding up her ministrations bringing herself so close to her breaking point. She wants to come so badly but can't seem to bring herself to that point. Running her free hand up her side to cup her breast, she is quickly reminded of Alex's touches on the bed that night at the beach as she kissed her and remembers just how sexy she looked on the beach in her bikini. Suddenly, Casey finds herself coming so hard she can't hold herself up and slides down the wall to the floor of the shower.

Letting the warm water soothe her nerves, Casey regains her breath and quickly stands finishing her shower. Turning off the water she dries herself and puts on her pajamas before walking back into the bedroom. Climbing back into bed, Casey can't help but think about what just happened.

Did she seriously just orgasm thinking about Alex? What was wrong with her? First she kisses her best friend drunk, and now she is masturbating in her boyfriend's shower to thoughts of that kiss and images of Alex in a bikini.

Shaking her head, Casey chalks it up to just being stressed out with Jason possibly proposing and their relationship just being in a rocky spot. Alex is just her best friend and she is just confused right now. As Casey starts to fall asleep, she takes comfort in the thought that everything will work itself out in the end.

* * *

 **The Next Afternoon…**

Alex climbed into the cab with Olivia. They were headed to a lunch date with their friends. Normally they tried to meet once a week for lunch, but more often than not due to schedule conflicts it ended up being once a month. This go around Alex and Olivia were able to make it by chance getting out of the precinct in just enough time to make it.

"So, Alex I have been meaning to ask you how everything turned out between you and Casey after the beach trip." Olivia asked looking across the cab at the blonde.

Alex frowned at the question, "What do you mean Liv? We are fine. Nothing changed between us, we are just friends."

"Are you? I saw the way you were looking at her this weekend and yesterday in the squad room."

Alex rolls her eyes, "Dear lord Liv, she was just having a rough time yesterday and I was helping her out. You know she and Jason have been having problems. She just needs someone to support her and love her is all."

"Exactly!" Liv exclaims.

"Exactly what?" Alex questions. She feels like Olivia is interrogating her and its getting old fast, "What are you getting at Olivia? Just spit it out."

"You, Alexandra Cabot, are in love with Casey Novak. Admit it."

Alex places her head in her hand as she leans against the window. "Is it that obvious Olivia?"

"To me, yes. What are you going to do about it?" Olivia questions.

Alex's eyes go wide, "Nothing Olivia, nothing at all. Casey is my best friend. I am not going to do anything to jeopardize that relationship. I don't know what I would do without her Olivia."

"Well, you could tell her and she could end up saying she feels the same Alex."

"Not likely Olivia. She's been dating Jason since she was in White Collar. That's what three years? She is in love with him Liv, that's why she has so much faith that he will turn back into the guy she fell in love with someday. If I told her how I feel I would destroy our friendship and just confuse the hell out of her. I would rather have her how I have her versus lose her completely." Alex says in a sad tone.

Olivia frowns at Alex as the cabbie pulls up to the restaurant. "I think you are selling yourself short Alex. I really think you would be surprised if you told her how you feel."

The two women walk into the restaurant and quickly find themselves at a table with their friends. Alex sits next to Casey who seems to be very uneasy. As everyone places their drink and food orders, Alex leans over and whispers into Casey's ear, "Case are you okay? You look a little shaken."

"I am fine," Casey whispers back. Looking at their friends, Casey says in a tense tone, "I am going to run to the restroom. I will be right back."

Standing she walks away quickly. Now Alex knows something is wrong and she has a funny feeling it is related to Jason. Alex rises from the table quickly adding, "I am going to check on her. I will be back."

Olivia watches the two women walk away. She shakes her head thinking about her and Alex's conversation on the ride over. She knows that Casey and Alex's feelings are mutual she just wishes Alex would listen to her.

"Um, is it me or is something going on between those two?" Kim questions.

Serena's eyes go wide at this question, "I thought I was the only one who thought that something might be happening there!"

"Wait? You thought something was going on and didn't say anything to me why?" Abbie asks Serena looking offended.

Serena shakes her head, "Abbie honey, I love you, but you have no filter at all and would let it slip. I am just hoping you have enough of a filter to keep this conversation tight lipped."

Kim eyes Olivia's silent state, "You know something Benson. Spill it!"

"It's not my place to say anything." Olivia replies as the waitress drops off the drinks.

"Oh my god! They had sex!" Abbie exclaims.

"No, no, no. Damn you three, especially you Carmichael. Fine, they shared a drunken kiss is all. It stirred up something in Alex I think. I am getting the idea from watching Casey she might feel something, but I don't know. Alex doesn't want to tell Casey how she feels. That's all I know." Olivia answers with a scowl at the group.

Alex follows Casey into the bathroom. Entering the small space she can hear Casey crying in a stall in the back. Knocking lightly on the door, Alex softly says, "Casey, its Alex. Why don't you come out and talk to me."

Opening the stall door, Casey looks hesitantly at the blonde. Seeing Alex caused Casey to have a rush of guilty emotions which caused her little breakdown although she won't tell the blonde that. Letting Alex pull her into a firm hug, Casey takes comfort in the closeness of her best friend. Casey knows she was just confused last night. Her problems are with Jason not with Alex.

"Want to talk about it Casey?" Alex asks. She isn't sure if it's Jason or a case upsetting Casey, but she figures it's better to ask than assume.

Casey sighs into Alex's shoulder. Taking another breath to steady her breathing Casey thinks Alex always smells so good. After another breath, Casey pushes back and looks the blonde in the eyes before saying, "Things just didn't go great last night with Jason. I need to talk to him about it is all. I just don't know what to say Alex. I am just a little overwhelmed."

Alex pulls Casey back into a hug and runs her fingers through Casey's red hair. "Don't worry Casey, everything will be okay. Why don't you come over tonight and we can talk it through. I will help you work out what you want to say. How does that sound?"

"Good. It sounds good." Casey says still wrapped in Alex's arms.

Holding onto Casey, Alex begins to replay Olivia's words in her head. The blonde wants nothing more at this moment than to tell Casey how she feels and to encourage her to push Jason away. She just wishes she could, but she can't. Alex has to be strong for Casey. She has to help Casey get what she wants, and Casey wants Jason.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I think my favorite review was iTrick's '** **You don't imagine your best friend like that...' comment. You also don't have hot make out sessions with you best friend…even if you are drunk! Lol, made me laugh so hard.**

* * *

 **That evening…**

Alex stood at her stove browning the ground beef. She'd decided while making her way through the grocery store earlier that she was going to make Casey's favorite comfort food for dinner tonight, Cheeseburger Hamburger Helper. It was one way that she and Casey were very different. Alex's favorite comfort food would be chicken and barley stew that her mother use to make her when she was little. Smiling, Alex realized the common denominator was their comfort foods were dishes their mothers' had made them. Maybe it was a way to have your mother's comfort without having her present at that particular moment.

Removing the beef from the stove top, she drained it over the kitchen sink while checking the time. It was 6:30pm; Casey should be arriving anytime now. Putting the meat back into the skillet she continued to prepare the meal. Once it was finally ready to simmer, Alex moved to open a bottle of wine. Silently laughing, Alex thought, 'how sophisticated of me, wine and hamburger helper.'

Hearing Casey knock at the door, Alex walked over to let her in. "Hey, how was the rest of work?" Alex asked her tired looking friend.

Walking to the couch, Casey sighs, "Long, Alex, very long and tiring. Some days I wish I just had a name on the shirt job, one that I could just call in sick to and stay home in bed." As Casey finishes she lets herself fall into Alex's plush couch. "I swear Alex I could just fall asleep right now," the redhead groans.

Walking into the kitchen to fix Casey a glass of wine, Alex replies, "Well don't Casey. We still need to talk about what you want to say to Jason and I made your favorite food."

Casey eyes shoot open in excitement, "You made Cheeseburger Helper! Alex, you always say it's not real food. Why would you make it?"

Smiling as she walks towards the couch the blonde answers, "Casey, it's your number one comfort food. You are upset therefore you need comfort foods. So, I can forgo worrying about my sodium intake for one night for you."

Taking the wine, Casey smiles, "Thanks Alex, it really means a lot."

"So, what happened last night with Jason?" Alex questioned.

Casey sighed and took a giant sip of her wine. "I went over to Jason's apartment and it was a disaster. I should have made him work harder to make up Sunday night to me, but of course I let his stupid flowers win over my affections which ended in another night of bad sex."

Alex was suddenly reminded of Casey's question that night at the beach. She wanted to ask Casey about that question, but didn't want to make her remember things that could upset her. "Well Casey, what do you want to do about it?"

Casey shakes her head, "I don't know Alex. Jason use to be so sweet. I mean there was a reason I fell in love with him. Although, ever since he started working for Lionel Granger he has turned into this selfish ass. I just feel like I keep making excuses for him. I just wish he would go back to the way he was or that I could just get over him and move on. Ugh, it's so annoying. I need to talk to him about it, I just don't know how to Alex."

Hearing the timer on the stove go off, Alex stood, "Come on, let's get dinner into you and figure out something for you to say to Jason." It killed Alex to have to figure out a way to help Casey save her relationship, but if it's what Casey wanted then she needed to support her.

Following Alex into the kitchen, Casey watched her friend fix the plates. She couldn't help but admire Alex's beauty. The blonde had a way of even making an apron look good. Taking her plate they sat down at the table.

After a few bites Alex spoke, "Casey, I think you just need to be honest with Jason about how you are feeling. Tell him in a nice way that you want to spend more time with him and that right now you feel like you two are losing your connection. See what he thinks. That is the only way you two are going to work things out."

"I know you are right Alex," Casey says before mumbling, "I am just so confused."

"What are you confused about Casey?"

Taking a big bite of her food, the redhead buys herself time to think of an answer. She wants to tell Alex she is confused about their trip and the kiss, but she knows that will only cause problem for them. Casey is lucky that Alex was nice enough to look past her drunken actions; she doesn't want to push her luck to much with the blonde. If Alex were interested she would have said something by now. Swallowing Casey replies, "I just don't know if I could marry him with our relationship like this, I mean I know I wouldn't be happy."

"Casey, if that's the case then no you shouldn't marry him. You should only marry him if you are truly happy and in love," as Alex finishes her statement Casey looks up and locks eyes with her. Alex can't help but think of how happy she is whenever she is around Casey and how much her heartbeat speeds up in her chest. She can tell she is falling even more in love with Casey.

* * *

 **The next afternoon…**

Jason walks into the restaurant to meet Casey for lunch. She had called him earlier at work to tell him that they needed to talk and when he suggested she come to his place for dinner that night she was quick to turn him down. He had a feeling that he had pissed her off again, but he didn't know how. Casey just seemed so sensitive all the time these days he never knew what to do around her anymore.

Seeing her at a table across the room, he makes his way towards her. Plastering a cheerful smile on his face he joins her at the table. "Casey you look gorgeous today," he says as he sits.

Casey smiles weakly, "Thank you Jason. Thanks for coming on such short notice as well."

"Casey, you act like this is some work lunch. I am your boyfriend of course I would come. We aren't working out a plea deal or anything." Jason says picking up his glass of water.

Casey frowns, "Well Jason, I actually called you out to lunch because I want to talk to you about us."

Jason sets his water down and leans towards his girlfriend, "What does that mean Casey? It sounds like you are preparing to break up with me. Are you breaking up with me?"

"No Jason," Casey says taking a breath to stabilize her wording, "I am not breaking up with you yet. I want to work on our relationship. I am not happy with it. You never do anything nice for me anymore. Honestly, sometimes I just feel like you keep me around for sex." Casey looks at Jason's stunned expression. He looks hurt by her words and she feels bad for not being more tactful with her wording.

"Casey, I don't know what to say. I don't keep you around for sex. I love you Casey. Why would you think that?" he softly questions looking at the table.

"Jason, Sunday night you came to my apartment late in the evening and all you wanted was to get laid. I told you no and you got upset with me and put me down. You hurt my feelings Jason. Monday you send me your usual 'Kiss Casey's Ass' flowers and I stupidly go to your place for dinner and you order Chinese and then take me straight to bed. You don't even try to please me in bed anymore. What am I supposed to think?" she quietly but firmly replies.

"You named the flowers I send you 'Kiss Casey's Ass' flowers. Point made Casey, I won't send you flowers anymore. Sorry for trying to be sweet. As for Sunday night Casey, I am sorry. I did screw up that night, you are right, and I knew I was being an asshole. But Monday night Casey, if you wanted me to take you out why didn't you say something? You know I suck at cooking and other than pizza which you ate for dinner Sunday night your favorite takeout is Chinese. I was trying to do something nice." He stops for a moment and thinks. She wants to say something to him, but she is aware he is preparing his next statement from the way he palms his forehead. Finally he says, "As for you not being pleased in the bedroom, I am sorry Casey. I will work harder on that I guess."

"Jason, this last year has been rough on us. You are building your status in the firm and I have been handling harder cases. I just think we need to focus a little more on us." She offers.

"I agree Casey. I know I don't want to lose you so let me start with lunch today. I want you to tell me all about work. Then I would like to take you out to dinner tonight if you'd like, anywhere you want to go. Plus, I would like to take you somewhere special this weekend, somewhere where I can spend the weekend making up for evidently sucking at pleasing you if you get my gist. But only if you'd like, otherwise I would be happy to go shopping all weekend with you. My schedule is wide open and I would love to spend it with my girl." He offers with a big grin.

"It sounds like one big date Jason. I would love to go to dinner with you and away this weekend." Casey answers with a smile.

"Great Casey, I will plan it all when I get back to work."

Casey smiles at her boyfriend, "Thank you Jason. I am really happy we talked about all of this."

* * *

 **Friday early afternoon…**

"So, Owen will be flying in next Thursday afternoon for his interview at Bellevue. I can't believe by Friday we could be celebrating his possible move back to the City." Kim says excitedly from the couch in Casey's office.

Casey looks up from her file, "Yeah Kim, that's super exciting."

"Casey, are you even listening to me?" Kim questions with a frown. "Because if you aren't I can always walk down the hall to tell Alex my exciting news instead."

With the mention of Alex's name Casey perks up, "What about Alex? Is something going on?"

"Clearly Owen got all the listening skills in your gene pool. Okay, I am off." Kim says preparing to stand.

"Aw, Kim I am sorry. I am just trying to get all of this stuff finished before 4:30. Jason is taking me to a B&B a couple of hours away and I want to be work free the whole time. He has been great since I talked to him on Wednesday and I am really excited about spending time with him," the redhead beams.

"I am happy for you Casey," Kim replies settling back into the couch as the phone rings.

"Novak, Sex Crimes. Jason, Kim and I were just talking about this weekend. What?" Casey's smile vanishes from her face as she listens to what Jason has to say. "There isn't anything you can do?"

Kim can see Casey is blinking back tears. She stands and whispers, "Call me later." She would like to stay and comfort her friend, but Casey hates for anyone to see her cry, so she gives her the privacy she would prefer. Walking down the hall Kim goes straight to Alex's office.

"So the asshole canceled on her." Kim states from the doorway to her blonde friend.

"Seriously? Why?" Alex barks.

"Hey, don't get upset with the messenger. I don't know Casey started to tear up so I left. You know how she hates crying around people."

Alex turns to her computer and quickly types an email before turning back around to Kim. "Don't worry. I have just the plan to cheer her up."

"Are you going to tell her you are in love with her?" Kim deadpans.

Alex's jaw drops, "How do you? Did Olivia? Get in here and close the door now!"

Kim walks into Alex's office with a big smile on her face. Never in all the years of knowing Alexandra Cabot, has Kim heard her stumble over her words, not even when she is drunk. Score one for Kim. Sitting across from Alex, Kim says, "Alex, you aren't hiding anything from anyone. We all know you love Casey. It just seems Casey doesn't, so tell her!"

"Who is 'we'?" Alex asks as she removes her glasses and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Well me obviously, Olivia, Serena, and Abbie."

"Abbie! You told Abbie. Oh my god, I think I am going to have a panic attack. Out of all our friends you shared my most delicate secret with big mouth Carmichael. I can kiss my best friend goodbye." Alex groans laying her forehead on her desk.

"From what I hear you already kissed your best friend."

Alex looks up and scowls, "Watch it Greylek. I have lots of connections at Bellevue."

Kim just smirks, "And I am dating her brother. Would you like me to tell Owen, he tells Casey everything, but you know that right?"

"Okay, enough joking. You all cannot let Abbie drink around Casey anymore."

Kim sighs, "Why don't you just tell her how you feel Alex? You two are already practically dating. You are just lacking sex."

"Kimberly, please. Casey doesn't love me she loves Jason. Telling her how I feel would only make things weird between us and then I'd lose my best friend. I don't want to lose my best friend. I know you can respect that." Alex says as she stands, "I need to go check on Casey."

Kim stands and follows Alex out of the office. "Don't let her waste to many tears on him Alex," the brunette says as she turns in the opposite direction.

Alex smiles, "Don't worry after I am done with her she won't be able to cry." Scrunching her face together she shakes her head and corrects, "I didn't mean it like that." Kim just laughs as she walks down the hall.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sick kids and a hell of a trying week, but you all and your reviews are awesome! Thanks.**

* * *

Opening Casey's office door without knocking Alex hesitantly enters the room. Casey is standing by the window looking out at the city street with her back to Alex. All of the blinds to the room have been drawn so no one outside the office can see in the room. Alex closes the door behind her and crosses the room to Casey. Standing behind the redhead, Alex turns Casey towards her and pulls her into her arms hugging her tightly.

Casey starts to cry into her friends shoulder. She never lets anyone see her cry, no one but Alex that is. "He said he had a huge potential client call and they want him to drive up to the Hamptons this weekend to talk about him taking over their estate matters. He apologized profusely and said he rescheduled the weekend for next weekend. I shouldn't be upset, but I just can't help it Alex."

Alex runs her fingers through Casey's red hair as she soothes, "Its okay Casey. Everything will be okay. You are allowed to be upset and hurt you were really excited about this weekend. Everything will be okay. I promise."

"How do you know everything will be okay?"

Alex holds Casey away from her and looks right into her green eyes, "I know that Casey because you are strong. You are one of the strongest women I know Casey. You will make it through this and you will figure everything out with Jason. That is how I know everything will be okay."

"Thank you Alex."

"Anytime Casey. Now, when will you be finished here?" Alex asks.

"Um, about an hour, why?"

"Because I am taking you out of town." Alex says with a big grin.

Casey smiles, "You are, are you? And where to pray tell?"

"Boston."

Casey's eyes light up at hearing the location, "B-Boston? You are taking me to Boston. Why?"

"Because I know you love Boston, and have wanted to visit for a little while now. I also know that the Red Sox are playing the Yankees Saturday and I am taking you to the game, but only if I can wear my Yankees attire. So what do you say?" Alex says with a laugh seeing just how excited Casey is becoming at the news. Just like Alex told Kim, Casey wouldn't be crying for long.

Casey starts to shake her head, "Yes I will go! And just because you are being so awesome will I allow you to wear you Yankees attire in my presence." She hugs Alex again letting out a little squeal of happiness, "Thank you Alex, thank you so much. You always know how to cheer me up."

Holding Casey close, Alex whispers, "I hate to see you sad Casey. I would do anything to see you happy. Now finish up and we will go." Breaking the hug, Alex crosses the room to the door. Turning at the door she says, "No more coffee! I don't want a four and a half hour drive turning into a six hour marathon."

Sitting happily at her desk, Casey smiles and rolls her eyes. "Haha Cabot! Well, when I sleep the whole ride don't complain!"

* * *

 **Later that afternoon…**

"Okay, Alex, this is by far the best way ever to travel." Casey says sitting back with her coffee while looking over to Alex.

Alex smiles, "You can thank yourself for this Casey. Your comment about sleeping the whole ride made me think taking the train was the way to go. You get your coffee and billon bathroom breaks and I get to put my feet up."

"Well I thank you," Casey says taking a long sip of coffee, "So what is the plan for when we hit the city?"

Alex smiles, "You don't want a surprise?"

"No, I hate surprises and you know it. Spill, Ally." Casey says with a smirk.

"Fine, ok we are going to stay at The Liberty hotel. The game starts a 4pm, so I thought we could spend the morning hitting up some museums and exploring the city." Alex replied.

Casey smiled brightly, "You spoil me so much Alex."

"Someone has to Casey," Alex says as she takes a large sip of her tea. Looking up she notices the look on Casey's face. Clearly her last statement hit a sore spot with the redhead. "Casey, I am sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive."

Casey shakes her head, "Don't worry about it Alex. You are right. Jason lasted what two days before he pushed me to the back burner again. I shouldn't allow him to have another chance."

"But you are going to?"

"He says the only reason he is going this weekend is because if he lands it we will be able to buy a house, and send our kids to whatever school we want. It's kind of hard to be really upset with him when he has such a valid reason." Casey replies weakly.

Alex frowns, "Casey he doesn't have to blow you off. He could have offered for you to go with him. He could have made it work out."

Casey sits quietly looking into her cup of coffee. Finally she looks up, "I don't want to talk about this anymore Alex. I just want to go to Boston and have fun with you Alex. Can we please not talk about Jason anymore?"

Alex nods, "If that is what you want Casey then yes."

"Thank you," the redhead says with a weak smile.

* * *

 **That evening…**

"Alex, this room is unbelievable. How did you pull all of this off?" Casey says walking into the bedroom of their suite.

"I had my travel agent handle all of it. You ready to go downstairs for dinner?" Alex asks.

"Why don't we put on our pajamas and order in instead? We can watch crappy TV and get drunk!" Casey says with a smirk.

"If that's what you want to do then I am game. I told you this weekend is about cheering you up!" Alex replies kicking off her shoes and jumping on the bed.

"Fantastic!" Casey says grabbing her bag and digging out her pajamas.

Alex grabs the dinner menu to begin looking it over when she catches Casey pulling her shirt off. Quickly Alex blocks her view of her friend's gorgeous body with the menu. Silently she prays that Casey won't see the blush that is covering her face. Alex begins to think she should have gotten two rooms. Taking a breath, Alex says "I think I am going to get the lobster. What are you in the mood for?"

"Lobster sounds great. I think I will join you on that order." Casey says lying down next to Alex. The redhead looks into Alex's blue eyes, "Want me to order while you change?"

Alex feels like she can't breathe. Casey is so close to her and looks amazing, even if she is in pajamas. Not to mention, Alex has a great view right now of Casey's cleavage. Swallowing thickly, Alex nods, "Yeah that would be great."

Tossing Casey the menu Alex runs grabs her bag and runs into the bathroom. Closing the door behind her she leans against the bathroom counter and looks at herself in the mirror. What the hell is she doing? If she keeps going at this pace she is going to have Casey accidently pinned to a wall. She has to get control of her emotions before she does something stupid.

Quickly changing into her pajamas, Alex splashes cold water over her face. Taking a breath she walks back into the bedroom. Casey is on the bed looking at her phone, she doesn't look happy.

"Problem, Counselor?" Alex questions.

Casey clicks her phone off and tosses it onto the nightstand, "Yeah, Elliot sent me a text saying they picked up a potential serial rapist case. He and Liv are going to let me know if anything pans out over the weekend. If it does it looks like I will start Monday off in court."

"Oh Casey, well if you need help or someone to talk to let me know."

"Always," Casey replies with a sweet smile. "Now Alex get over here and help me pick out something to watch while we wait for dinner. Oh by the way, I ordered champagne to go along with the lobster."

"Mm, sounds great." Alex says jumping up on the bed next to Casey.

After dinner, Casey and Alex sat at the table in their room enjoying the rest of the champagne. "So let me get this straight, you walked in and said, 'I have this dream before except I was naked' to a room full of judges?" Alex questions with a laugh.

Casey smirks, "It wasn't my best moment."

"I would have paid to see it. I can't believe it took me taking you on a trip to Boston, a lobster and half a bottle of champagne to confess that story to me."

Casey gives Alex an evil look, "Okay, quid pro quo."

"Yes Hannibal?"

Leaning in close to Alex, Casey asks, "Are you drunk already?"

"Okay, okay seriously I have never said anything that crazy, ever." Alex says with a smile.

Casey throws her napkin at Alex while saying, "I hate you Cabot."

Dodging the napkin, Alex laughs, "You love me and you know it!"

"I got a great idea!"

"What's that?" Alex asks realizing they finished the champagne and moving to the mini bar.

Casey looks seriously at Alex, "We should go dancing! I love to dance and Jason hates dancing. Let's go dancing."

"I think we are already too drunk to go in public." Alex replies returning with four mini bottles of liquor. "How about we dance here instead? Then we don't have to get dressed."

"Ok, give me your phone." Casey says holding out her hand to Alex. Alex doesn't question, just passes her phone over. Casey flips through Alex's iTunes library and quickly finds a song she likes. "Okay, I am ready are you?"

Alex unscrews the top of a mini bottle and downs it's contents, "I am now."

Casey frowns, "Do you have to be drunk to dance with me Alex?"

Alex smiles, "No, I have to be drunk to dance period Casey." Standing she holds out a hand to Casey. Casey smiles up at the blonde and presses play as she takes Alex's hand and let the blonde pull her into the open space in the room.

Alex hears Mazzy Star's Fade Into You begin to play. "This is a sad song Casey."

"I love this song. Dance with me Alex." Casey whispers. Alex pulls Casey close and lays her head against the redheads should as the pretty much sway to the song. There were no graceful movements around the room or spins just holding each other close and swaying to the song. As the song ends Teagan and Sara's Closer begins to play over the phone.

Casey looks up at Alex and laughs, "Well that's a change!"

Alex laughs and spins Casey out into the room and quickly pulls her back into her arms. Casey shrieks at the sudden fast movement. Looking back at Alex, they begin to lip sync along to the song and dance around the room like two crazy people, laughing the whole way through each lyric. As the song nears the end they find themselves in each other's arms, looking quietly into the other's eyes. Their lips are mere inches apart. Alex lets her gaze fall to Casey's lips and she wants to kiss her so bad. The desire in itself is robbing her of her breath. She is about to close the distance when Casey steps back.

Casey swallows hard, "We should go to bed. We have planned a lot for tomorrow."

"Yeah, you're right Casey. Let's go." Alex replies.

After cleaning up the two women climb into bed. Alex wants to tell Casey how she feels, she wants to pull her close and kiss her. She wants to desperately show Casey just how much she loves her. She needs to stop thinking this way. She was so close to ruining everything between them.

* * *

 **The next evening…**

Walking along the street after the baseball game, Casey takes Alex's hand in hers, "Thank you Alex for a fantastic day. I really had the best day ever. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun."

Alex smiles at the younger attorney, "My pleasure Casey. I had a great time, even if that guy threw his giant beer all over me when the Yankees won."

"Yeah, well that's why you don't wear Yankees attire in Fenway Park." Casey laughed.

Alex smiles, "So back to the hotel to get cleaned up and then out to dinner?"

"I like that idea. What time are we headed back to the City tomorrow?"

"Ten, we should be home by three at the latest. Why do you have to go to the precinct?" Alex questions.

"Yep, Olivia said they had an attorney's fingerprint on the money found on the dead woman." Casey relayed.

"Really who?" Alex questioned in shock.

"You will never guess…" Casey teases.

"Jason!" Alex guesses.

Casey laughs, "No not even close. But if that was the case he'd be forced to spend time with me then so maybe I should tell them to switch it."

"Casey focus!" Alex cries, "Tell me whose fingerprint it was!"

"Annalise Keating's." Casey admits.

"You are kidding me. Oh my god, I wonder who she is covering for…" Alex ponders.

"Me to, whoever it is though is screwed. We already have enough evidence." Casey replies with a smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: All I can say is…enjoy?**

* * *

The next morning, Alex awoke with a start. The sound of the shower woke her from her intense dream. She'd been dreaming about Casey.

Casey's lips pressed against hers. Casey's lips traveling down her neck and over her breasts. A dream she shouldn't be having about her best friend but was any way. She was enjoying the dream, enjoying the things Casey's mouth was doing to her body. However, the sound of the shower had ended that dream for her and probably for the best. She would have been mortified if Casey had caught her.

Climbing out of bed, Alex made her way to the bathroom. Knocking lightly at the door, Alex asked, "Hey, Casey is it okay if I come in and brush my teeth real quick before heading downstairs to arrange our transportation to the train?"

"Yeah Alex, why wouldn't it be?" Casey responded. She could hear Alex's voice wavering as if something was bothering her. Seeing the look on Alex's face as she walks into the room, Casey asked, "What's up Alex? You seem bothered."

"Nothing Casey, we just have a long day ahead, and you have your case. I just think we need to get back to the City as fast as possible."

"Okay," Casey says turning off the water as Alex begins to brush her teeth. She notices how Alex is keeping her eyes fixed on the bathroom counter. Everything between her and Alex seems so off right now. "Um, Alex, could you pass me a towel please?" she asks hesitantly.

Alex's next actions prove to Casey that something is seriously off. Alex still watching the counter grabs a towel and tosses it towards Casey before she rinses her mouth out and leaves the bathroom. Drying off, Casey quickly gets dressed and packs her things.

She doesn't know what is bothering Alex, but she wants to be as ready as possible when Alex wants to go. As she starts to apply a little makeup she hears the suite door open. Silently, she prays Alex is in a better mood.

Walking back into the room, Alex feels a little less tense. She needed to escape the heated memory of her dream in order to put her feelings back into their box. As she enters the bedroom area she notices Casey's bags are packed and on the bed. Feeling a bad about being so short with Casey she walks into the bathroom with a smile on her face.

"Hey, I see you are already packed." Alex starts.

Casey puts her blush brush back in her makeup bag, "Yeah, you seemed like you wanted to leave so I thought I would be ready."

"Well, let me get ready real fast and we can go get some breakfast since we have some time to kill now." Alex offers, trying to show Casey she is sorry for her earlier behavior without having to explain why she was acting weird.

Once Alex is ready she exits the bedroom to find Casey on the phone. The redhead has a smile on her face and is laughing. Sitting on the couch Alex listens to the rest of the conversation.

"Yeah, we should be back by 3pm. Okay so you want to meet at 5:30? Oh you are going to pick me up huh? I can see that you are trying to impress me. Well I really appreciate it babe. Thank you. I will see you then. I love you to Jason." Casey smiles brightly at Alex as she hangs up.

Alex smiles weakly and asks, "Jason?"

"Yes, he wants to take me to dinner tonight to make this weekend up to me!" Casey beams.

Rolling her neck side to side, Alex just hums looking at her watch. Seeing Casey excited about Jason just managed to take her from a super happy mood to a super sour mood. Today is starting to feel like a roller coaster of emotions for the blonde and she is already quite over it. "Casey, it's already 8:30, we should just head to the train station. I wouldn't want to be late and you have to miss your date." She is trying to seem positive, but there is nothing cheery or upbeat in her tone.

Casey can sense Alex is unhappy with her talking to Jason. Agreeing to head to the station versus discuss the elephant in the room, Casey finds herself not talking to her best friend the majority of the ride home. She knows she needs to just ask Alex what the deal is, but it is so hard. So instead she closes her eyes and falls asleep.

Alex watches Casey sleep. She wants to wake the redhead up and tell her how she feels, she wants to be honest how much hearing her on the phone with Jason kills her. She seriously needs to get over Casey. Her feelings are growing out of control and she is going to destroy her friendship if she does let it go.

Feeling a tear escape her eye, Alex angrily wipes it away. When she gets back to the city she is going to put a little space between her and Casey, just enough to allow her to get over the redhead. She would rather have Casey as her best friend than nothing and Casey isn't going to break up with Jason. It's going to be hard but she has to for their friendship to survive.

Arriving back in New York City, Alex wakes Casey up. Gathering their belongings they head off the platform. Alex heads towards where her car is parked, but Casey for the cabs. Alex stops and looks towards Casey, "Don't you want me to drive you home?"

"Alex, I know something is bothering you. Are you going to tell me?" Casey asks.

Alex looks to the ground, "Casey, please let me just drive you home."

"No Alex. I don't know what I did this morning to upset you, or if it was just me talking to Jason, but I wish you would tell me instead of just being upset with me. I should have said something on the train, but I was really hoping you would since you are the one that's upset." Casey says with a frown. "I am taking a cab Alex. When you want to talk call me."

Alex just stands in the station watching Casey walk away. She wants to run after the redhead, but feels like her feet are cemented to the ground. Closing her eyes she tries to will her tears away, finally she turns and heads to her car with tears streaming down her face.

As Casey finally manages to climb into a cab and give the cabbie her address she fights to hold back her tears the whole way home. As she neared her apartment she pulled out her phone and sent Jason a text saying she didn't feel well and would call him tomorrow. Paying the cabbie she ran inside taking the elevator to her floor. Finally reaching her apartment she unlocked the door and walked inside bursting into tears the second she closed the door behind her. Leaving her bags by the door she made her way to her bedroom and crawled up on the bed crying until she fell asleep.

* * *

 **Three days later…**

Casey sat at her office desk flipping through her case file waiting on Olivia to arrive. They were meeting to go over everything for the grand jury tomorrow and review Nina's testimony. Casey was exhausted and wanted to call the day quits already.

It had been a long week. She had already gone toe to toe with Gabriel Duvall' lovely attorney Annalise Keating which was a nightmare, then she had the joys of Jason telling her she was insane and needed to drop the case, that she was committing career suicide by going up against Annalise. However, the worst part about the week so far was she and Alex hadn't talked since Sunday at the train station. Enough was enough, something had to change today something had to get better.

Picking up her phone, Casey types a message to Alex, _"Okay, I cave. Whatever I did I am sorry. Please talk to me. I miss you Alex, I know it's only been three days, but I need my friend so please talk to me."_ Seeing Olivia walk down the hall, Casey sets her phone down.

"Hey, thanks for coming. I am really grateful for your help tonight Olivia." Casey says with a small smile.

Olivia walks over to the table, "No problem, I brought dinner. I would have thought Alex would be here to help as well."

"Not so much. I upset her and we had an argument. I am going to talk to her tomorrow morning after arraignment." Casey admits.

Olivia nods. She has a funny feeling there is so much more to this story than Casey is letting on. Probably more than Casey even knows.

* * *

Alex sat on her couch in her apartment looking over the text message from Casey. She knew she needed to talk to Casey. She needed to make things right. She was just terrified of what that would mean for them once she told Casey the truth. Then again if she didn't say anything she was surely going to lose Casey.

Standing she grabs her jacket, wallet, and keys. It's only 9pm; Casey should still be at the office with Olivia. She has no idea what exactly she is going to say to Casey, but she will figure it out when she gets there. Heading outside her building she gets a cab not wanting to waste time driving and heads towards the office building.

* * *

"If the tissue links Duvall to the murder Olivia, Keating will try everything to get it thrown out and she will succeed. The woman doesn't know the meaning of plea; she just knows the word, win. Anyway, we need to be aware this it is going to be a battle." Casey says sighing as she sits back into her seat. Before Olivia can say anything the phone rings.

"Novak, Sex Crimes. Yeah, sure send them up." Casey says hanging up the phone. "Flowers."

Olivia smiles, "Jason?"

"If they are, they are going straight into the trash." Casey sighs.

"Feel like coffee?" Olivia asks standing.

Casey smiles, "Every second of every day."

"Great, I will be right back." Olivia says with a smile.

Picking up the phone to make a quick call, Casey thanks Olivia as she walks out of the room. Not getting who she was calling for she quickly leaves a message. Turning around to hang up the phone she sees a giant bouquet of flowers coming her way. Smiling she reaches to thank the delivery man but instead is hit in the face.

The impact of the man's fist connecting with her face knocks her off guard and jumbles her mind instantly. Suddenly, unsteady on her feet she feels someone grab her before punching her again. Falling to the ground she tries to wrap her mind around the pain, around what is happening. Finally, as her adrenaline begins to go into overdrive signaling her body to fight she receives a sharp kick to the ribs.

The kick is quickly followed by a second and then a third which flips her to her back. Reaching out her hands she finds her bat from her softball kit and tries to swing it at her attacker only to lose it to his firm grasp mid swing. He wastes no time turning the bat on her and hitting her in the head with it.

The room is spinning but she tries to focus. Begging every fiber within her being to fight to not give up she stands only to see him dive towards her. Crying out "No" she is thrown onto her desk. Feeling his hands wrap around her neck she desperately reaches for anything to use as a weapon something to save her life. The room begins to fade with the lack of oxygen. She vaguely feels her attacker banging her head on the desk. She vaguely hears the blonde's voice as she loses consciousness.

* * *

Alex walks down the hall hearing odd noises coming from Casey's office she picks up the pace. She is probably hallucinating but she swears she just heard a muffled scream. Quickly ducking into her office she grabs her Lady Justice statue. She always joked it would make a good weapon. Running quietly back down the hall her heart is pounding out of her chest. She doesn't think she just acts.

Hearing Casey cry out no and suddenly seeing the light go out with a crash Alex runs into the office. Seeing the redhead pinned to the desk she screams Casey's name catching the attacker off guard. Wasting no time, Alex takes the statue in her hands and swings it at his head as he looks up. The bronze statue connects perfectly with his temple and as he stumbles backwards it's like Alex's body is on autopilot she doesn't wait for him to right himself she just strikes him again. This time he falls flat to the ground as does Casey's limp body.

Standing in the wake of the darkened room, bloody statue in hand Alex is in a state of shock. All of a sudden, she hears Olivia call her name. Looking up, Alex sees her and drops the statue. Noticing Casey on the floor, it's as if her on switch is flipped and Alex runs to the redhead's side, "Casey! Oh my god, Casey! Get help! Olivia, get help!" Trying not to move her, not wanting to hurt her further Alex cries over Casey's motionless body, "Casey, hang in there. Please hang in there Casey. I love you please, please be okay."

Before she realizes what is happening, the paramedics are there and Olivia is pulling Alex off of Casey. Following in a jog after the woman she loves, Alex begs the paramedics to allow her to ride with them. She can't lose Casey and she just came so close. Finally they cave and allow Alex inside. Sitting down beside Casey, Alex looks out at Olivia. They each give one another a knowing nod as the EMT's close the doors.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry this one is posting late. Life got wonderfully in my way. I will try better tomorrow. :)**

* * *

Alex sat by Casey's hospital bed holding her hand crying. She felt so responsible. If she hadn't been distancing herself from Casey this wouldn't have happened. She would have been with Casey and Olivia. She would have been with Casey to defend her, to keep her safe. Casey wouldn't be in the hospital, she'd be safe at home.

Looking over the redhead's bruised and bloodied body Alex lets out a sob. "Casey, I am so sorry. I should have protected you better. Please forgive me Casey. I love you." Taking a shaky breath Alex whispers again, "I love you Casey."

Olivia walks into the room and sees Alex still holding Casey's hand crying. She knew Alex had saved Casey's life. She knew Alex was in love with Casey and right now this all had to be killing her inside. She hated what she was about to have to do. Olivia had tried to push off the blonde having to give her statement, but Cragen was demanding it considering that Alex had effectively cracked the skull of the man who was attacking Casey. Milan Zergin, brother to Casey's star witness Nina Zergin, was now in surgery to save his life after nearly beating Casey to death.

Casey's doctor's said she was lucky to be alive. Alex had clearly stopped Zergin from strangling Casey to death after he had beaten her. Casey had multiple fractured ribs, two black eyes, a broken nose and numerous cuts and bruises. She had her recovery cut out for her, whereas Alex was potentially facing suspension and possible criminal charges. Olivia thought it was ridiculous that she'd even heard the words. She'd pointed out if she had come upon the scene she would have shot Zergin, however, it was pointed out to her that if she had enough time to stop and get something to use as a weapon she had enough time to alert security. The worst part was that Alex was an ADA so it was deemed she should be held to higher standards.

Taking a deep breath Olivia walked over to Alex and placed a hand on her shoulder, whispering, "Alex, we have to take it now."

Alex looked up with teary red eyes and nodded. Standing quietly, she kissed Casey's head and walked out of the room to meet Elliot. She wasn't proud of possibly fatally wounding the man responsible for Casey's condition. She felt as if she really didn't have any control over herself, her main focus was to save Casey. In the end, she did save Casey's like but may have taken a man's life to achieve her goal. She couldn't decide if she was okay with having possibly killed a man but if she had to do it again she would if it meant saving Casey.

Walking down the hall she turns into the room the doctors have been nice enough to let Elliot and Don use to take her statement. Sitting at the table, Alex tentatively asks Elliot and Don, "How bad is it looking for me?"

"We need your statement first Alex," Don answers, before adding, "We won't be able to tell you directly until he is out of surgery." He may be having to play the bad cop role right now, but he respects Alex Cabot immensely for everything she has done for the unit and for the victims.

Nodding her head she begins, "Casey and I haven't been talking the last three days and I was going to the office tonight to clear the air between us. When I started down the hallway I heard some noises coming from the direction of her office and something that sounded like a muffled scream. Panicking I ran into my office and grabbed the first thing I could find that looked like I could use to defend myself if I needed to. Then everything is blurry. I remember continuing down to Casey's office and her crying out and then I remember hitting him. I think twice. The next thing I remember is Olivia calling my name and seeing Casey on the floor." By the time she finishes she is crying again. "I was just so scared. He was killing her. She couldn't breathe and couldn't even fight back. I had to save her. I couldn't lose her."

Don takes a deep breath and says, "Okay Alex, it seems like you were defending Casey, but I have to ask, what were you and Casey arguing about?"

"We weren't arguing. We were not talking because I wasn't telling her what was bothering me." Alex says shakily.

Elliot frowns he hates to ask because he feels like he is prying into Alex's life, but he has to, "And that was?"

"That I am in love with her. I was coming to tell her that I am in love with her." Alex sighs.

* * *

Olivia sat next to Casey's bed holding her hand as she began to wake, "Casey, hey don't sit up just relax. You are in the hospital Casey. You are safe."

Casey tries to open her eyes but she can barely do so they are so swollen. She feels like her whole body is broken. Fighting back tears from the pain coursing through her she asks, "What happened?"

"You were attacked Casey in your office tonight by Milan Zergin." Olivia began.

"Did he get away?" Casey weakly inquires.

Olivia shakes her head, "No Casey, Alex came in and stopped him. She saved your life Casey." Before, Olivia can say anything else Jason runs into the room.

"Casey! I heard what happened." He said sitting next to Casey, "I told you that case was a bad idea."

"I know you did Jason," Casey says looking away. She doesn't want him to see her like this; she doesn't want anyone to see her like this. Seeing Olivia turn to leave the room, Casey calls out as loud as she can, "Liv, you said Alex stopped him? How, she wasn't there?"

Olivia smiled, "She came back to the office to talk to you Casey and interrupted your attack."

"Yeah, and probably will wind up disbarred or in jail. She acted stupidly." Jason huffed.

Olivia shoots him a nasty look, one that Casey notices. "Casey, you were really lucky tonight. Alex saved your life and everyone that matters will see that she is a hero. Get some rest Casey," Olivia says before leaving.

Jason scowled after Olivia before turning to face Casey again, "Hero my ass, she acted recklessly. She could have gotten you both killed. Plus, now this guy who attacked you may die. You should have really dropped that case when I told you to Casey. Look at all this shit that happened. If you had just listened it could have been avoided. Seriously, Case…"

"Get out!" Alex bellowed from the doorway.

Jason turned to her looking astounded. "Excuse me? Who are you to tell me to leave? This is my girlfriend's room. Aren't you supposed to be in lock up?"

"Jason Whitaker, I said get out. You are so dense you can't even see how much you are upsetting her right now." Alex said pointing at Casey who had moved a pillow over her face while Jason was berating her.

Jason sighed, "Fine Casey. Call me later." As he finished he walked towards the door grabbing Alex's arm and dragging her out into the hallway. Once there he turned on the blonde, "I know what you are doing Alexandra Cabot and I am not going to stand for it!"

"What would that be Jason? Taking care of your girlfriend in all the ways you should be?" Alex replied.

Jason paces back in forth shaking his head. Finally he stops and angrily points at Alex, "Don't fuck with me Cabot. I know you are trying to swoop in on your high horse and take Casey from me. Well, it won't happen, Alex. She isn't into girls first off and second she loves me."

"Casey Novak deserves better than you Jason. I have tried to sit on the sidelines and help her to be happy with you, but you drop the ball every chance you get. If she leaves you Jason it's because of you and your actions not mine." Alex spits back at him.

He smirks, "You think you are invincible Alex. Well you aren't. If I tell Casey, which I will, she won't want to hang out with you anymore. Do you want me to tell her Alex?"

Alex looks up and smiles boldly at Jason, "You are right Jason. You are completely right. I am in love with Casey. I adore her for everything she is and isn't Jason. So fuck you, I have no intentions of leaving her especially right now. If you want to tell her how I feel about her be my guest. Do it! I dare you."

Jason laughs, "You are pathetic Alex. Go right on back in there. Please, do me the favor and go take care of her. I can't take time off work so please be my sick maid for her. I am not worried one bit, because it just occurred to me, if you haven't told her how you feel it's because you are afraid of losing her, which means I am right. So have fun Alex. Fix her up and I will take her back." With that he turns and walks down the hall.

Alex is furious. She wants to hit something or scream at the top of her lungs. Trying to calm herself she paces the hall for a bit. Hearing Casey weakly call her name, she takes a few calming breaths and walks back into the room. Seeing Casey try to wipe the tears from her swollen face Alex rushes to her side.

"Here, let me help you." Alex offers picking up a washcloth and lightly wiping Casey's face.

"Alex is it true what he said?" Casey asks as tears weld in her eyes, "Are you going to be in trouble for saving me?"

"Don't worry about anything Casey. I am going to be fine. What is important is that you are going to be okay." Alex soothed.

Casey started to cry again, "I am so sorry. Jason's right I should have let the case go."

"Casey," Alex began pausing to take a breath to steady her words, "You did what was right trying to get justice for those women, and trying to get justice for the woman Duvall killed. You did nothing wrong. If I was put in the same position I would have done the same."

"What about your job Alex."

Alex smiled, "I would give it up every day if it kept you safe. Stop worrying and rest. You have your recovery cut out for you."

Casey nodded and tried to get comfortable. After a quiet minute she asked, "Alex can you lay with me. I just need to be held."

"Okay," Alex whispered slowly climbing into bed. Lying down beside Casey, she lightly laid her arm across the redhead's waist. Softly she places a kiss to her temple. "Sleep Casey, no one will hurt you," Alex whispered.

Snuggling into Alex as best she could with her wounds, Casey whispered back, "Thank you Alex for everything."

Alex held Casey as she fell asleep. She wanted to tell her how she felt, but right now she thought Casey needed time to heal. Casey didn't need the confusion at this point, although Alex wondered if that was just an excuse. Making a pact with herself, Alex decided that when Casey was better she would tell her how she felt. It was a promise she intended to keep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay, finally finished. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 **Friday late afternoon…**

Alex helped Casey into her apartment with Casey's mom, brother and Kim in tow. Casey had begged her mother, Caroline, to stay at home and insisted she didn't need the help but her mother refused. She'd stopped by the hospital earlier that day to get a key from Alex and ran to the apartment with Kim to clean, stock the refrigerator and put clean sheets on the bed. As much as Alex knew Casey said she didn't need the help, she knew the redhead was immensely thankful.

Owen got the job at Bellevue and came to check in on Casey directly after making sure she was being cared for properly. While there he asked why Jason wasn't with her. To Alex's astonishment Casey actually told Owen how Jason had upset her and Alex made him leave. Silently Alex was praying that Casey was starting to realize what kind of person Jason really was and how he didn't treat her the way she deserved to be treated.

Helping Casey to the couch Alex covered her with a blanket. Sitting on the coffee table next to her the blonde asked, "Casey can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee? Painkillers?"

Casey rolled her head towards Alex and smiled. Alex looked at her lovingly. Casey never could fully understand how her friend could always manage to make her feel special and beautiful even when she looked so bloody and bruised. "A cup of tea might be nice." Casey responded hoarsely.

Chuckling a little, Alex said, "I would have put money on the coffee."

"Yeah, well after my last coffee experience I think I am taking a hiatus."

"Tea it is then Case," Alex replies placing a soft kiss to Casey's head.

Caroline Novak watches the exchange between her daughter and her daughter's best friend. Smiling, she realizes that there is more to this friendship than either woman is obviously admitting. She can tell they are in love from the way they look at each other, when they will admit it to each other is another question. She hopes sooner than later. It's time Casey kicks Jason to the curb.

Walking into the kitchen, Alex starts the tea kettle. "Owen, when is Casey's next pain pill due?" Alex asks turning towards the redheaded brother of Casey's. "In about an hour, she should take it at least every six hours, but today I recommend giving it around every five to five and a half so it doesn't have time to wear off. But that's only for today Alex." Owen answers.

"Are you staying with her tonight dear? I brought a bag to stay if so she wouldn't be alone." Caroline asks in a warm tone.

Alex looks to Kim to see how this question should be answered. Alex had just assumed she would stay to take care of Casey. She never thought to think differently. Kim shrugs her shoulders just enough for Alex to tell.

Casey calls out from the living room couch, "Alex is staying Mom. Thanks for the offer though." Alex smiles brightly. Leave it to Casey to come to her rescue when she doesn't know exactly what to say.

Caroline smiles and wraps her arm around Alex's shoulder giving her a slight hug, "Thank you Alex. Casey is blessed to have you in her life."

"Thank you Caroline, it means a lot." Alex replies.

Owen grabs his coat, and turns to say, "Well, now that I have you all set up, I am going to head back to the hospital. My first shift will be starting. I get an introductory week and then I have to head back to Seattle to get my stuff secured for transport with the movers. So there is no time to waste. Alex, if you need anything call my cell. Even if I am in surgery I will answer. Do not hesitate. Got it?"

"Got it," Alex nods.

Casey's brother crosses the room to Casey and lightly gives his sister a hug and kiss. "Hang in there. You are a fighter Case, I know you hurt but you will feel better soon. Just take it easy." He soothes.

"I will thanks," Casey whispers.

Leaning closer to Casey's ear so only she can hear him, Owen whispers, "Tell her how you feel Casey. I can tell she feels the same way."

She smacks her brother on the shoulder lightly, "Go to work Owen," she scolds.

"Okay, Case." He says holding his hands up. Turning to Kim he asks, "You ready?"

The brunette smiles, "For you always."

Casey could see how happy and in love her brother and Kim were. She wanted that kind of love. She wanted that kind of love from Alex. She desperately wondered if the blonde felt the same way for her.

After another hour, Caroline left and it was just Casey and Alex. Bringing Casey her pain pill, Alex sat on the floor next to her. "Do you want to watch a movie Casey, or would you like me to heat up the casserole your mom made?" Alex asked.

Running her fingers through the blonde's long hair Casey smiled softly. "Alex, I just want to lay down and take a nap for a bit. Will you lay down with me?"

"Yeah, Casey, I will lay down with you," Alex says standing and carefully scooping Casey up in her arms carrying her to bed. Lying Casey on the bed she gently tucks her in and climbs in on the opposite side carefully snuggling up to the redhead.

Watching the pain pill slowly take effect, Alex hears Casey whisper, "Thank you Ally. I really needed this."

Softly whispering back Alex said, "I would do anything for you Casey." Within a couple of minutes Casey was asleep and Alex soon followed.

Around an hour later, Alex awoke to knocking at the door. Trying to untangle herself from Casey's embrace without waking her from sleep Alex sneaks away from the bedroom and pulls the door partially closed to buffer sound. Walking across the living room to the door, Alex checks the other side only to find Jason before opening it.

"Alex hey," Jason says surprising cheery walking into the apartment, "Is Casey sleeping?"

"Yes Jason, she has been through a lot the last few days. You might know that if you ever came around." Alex huffed crossing her arms.

Jason walked closer to the bedroom door, "You don't have to be so hostile Alex. I just came over to take care of Casey. I brought her favorite soup and some tea."

Alex can only roll her eyes, she knows Casey hates soup and he bought the wrong tea. Softly Alex asks, "And what makes you think you even deserve to be here Jason. You treat her like shit and you know it."

Jason not so quietly says, "Alex you don't have to stay if you don't want to, I can take care of Casey for you if you need to go sort out your problems with the police and DA's office."

Alex's eyes go wide. She might kill him right here and now. Just as she stands and begins to cross the room Casey's door opens and the redhead weakly comes out into the room. "Hey Jason," she says allowing him to kiss her. Looking to Alex, Casey says, "I heard Jason. Alex I am fine Jason is here he can take care of me. You can go now."

Alex felt like she'd been hit in the stomach. She couldn't believe she fell right into his trap. She wanted to tell Casey it was an act, but she just couldn't. The last thing the redhead needed right now was a bunch of drama.

Picking up her bag, Alex turns to look at Casey once more, "Casey, are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah, Alex I will be fine. I will call you if I need you." Casey says with a slight frown.

Alex nods weakly, "Okay then, I am out. Jason, you better take excellent care of her." As she finishes, she opens the door and leaves. By the time she reached her car, she was raging mad. She drove straight to the DA's office. She didn't care if she interrupted Branch with the president of the United States she was going to clear the air surrounding the attack and her defending Casey right now.

Pulling up to the DA's office, Alex quickly parked and headed into the building. She quickly bypassed security and proceeded to the elevators. Arriving at the district attorney's floor she made her way straight to his office ignoring anyone's attempts to stop her.

Alex walked into Branch's office without knocking. Giving her a stern look he said, "Alexandra you aren't supposed to be here until we've cleared you."

"I am aware of that sir, but I can't wait any longer. This needs to be cleared up today and you have the power to make that happen. So tell me, what do you need from me. Please, I need this to be put behind me, so I can get on living." She demanded.

"Take a seat Alex," the older man said motioning to a chair before him. Alex sat perched on the edge of her chair waiting to go to her own defense. "Alex, Don told me you are in love with Casey, is that true?"

Alex wasn't prepared for that question despite the fact she's admitted her feelings the day prior to Cragen and Elliot. Taking a breath she answered, "Yes, it is. I was here to tell her that I am in love with her. I heard the noises and grabbed something to defend myself incase I was attacked. I was trying to find Casey to insure her safety before calling the police."

Arthur Branch nods at this information. "So you intended to call after making sure Casey was okay?"

"Yes," Alex exclaims, "and thank god I did it that way, because if I'd have stopped to call for help she would be dead. He damn near strangled her to death and I walked in on it. He didn't even move to stop when he saw me, didn't even try to defend himself, he would have killed her but I protected her. I would protect her again in the same situation and I will continue to protect her until she tells me to stop."

"Okay Alex, okay." Branch assures seeing tears stream down the blonde's cheeks. "I will make sure everything gets dropped."

"Really?" Alex asks quickly wiping her tears. She feels like this whole mess is going away a little too easily.

"Yes. I knew you had good intentions I just needed to hear them. Plus, your major saving grace is he didn't die or suffer any permanent brain damage. He also told Stabler and Benson this morning that he was there to kill Casey and that you interrupted him. He wishes he had finished you both. So that absolved you. You're lucky Cabot, but you are a real hero. Now go get your files, you are covering for you and Novak now." Branch says standing to show Alex out.

She nods and leaves the office. She is in a state of shock, she feels like a huge weight has been lifted from her. She just wishes she could have Casey by her side to celebrate.

Walking down the hall of the DA's office, Kim sees Alex in her office. "Alex, why aren't you with Casey?"

"Jason came over and convinced her that I needed to go." Alex said softly grabbing her box of files for home. She'd be working all weekend clearly.

"Oh, it must be what Owen said to him."

"What did Owen say to Jason?" Alex asked.

"Before or after he pinned him to the wall?" Kim asked with a knowing smirk.

Alex's eyes went wide, "Hey pinned Jason to the wall?"

"Sure did and I saw it with my own eyes!" Kim exclaimed, "And he told Jason that he was the worst excuse for a boyfriend he'd ever seen. That he would never support Jason being with Casey and that she deserved someone who treated her like a princess like you do Alex."

"Oh, no." Alex said covering her mouth.

Kim gives Alex a perplexed look, "Oh no? Oh, no what?"

"I am so screwed. Jason will probably tell Casey now. I should have told her earlier. Why is this happening to me?" Alex says tugging her hair.

"Wait," Kim starts, "Jason knows? How does Jason know?"

"He figured it out. Like I said, I am so screwed." Alex sighs.

Kim shakes her head, "I love you, but you are an idiot Alex. Why the hell haven't you told her already?"

"I don't know!" Alex exclaims looking up at the brunette, "I don't know Kim. I am afraid she isn't going to say it back. She so quickly asked me to leave today. It's like I am only good to her when Jason isn't around and when he is I can go. I know that's screwed up and probably not right, but it would kill me if I told her and she didn't feel the same way about me."

"I understand Alex, but you need to tell her before someone else does. She'll be pissed if she hears it from anyone but you." Kim states firmly.

"I know, I know." Alex whispers.

"I'll let you get back to it. Call me later." Kim says as she turns to walk out the door.

Alex takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. Looking around her office her eyes finally fall on a picture of Casey and her. They were on the Ferris wheel at Coney Island. Casey of course was laughing and Alex was smiling. She just didn't realize at the time how much she loved Casey. She should have told her. The next time she saw Casey she would tell her. This was it no more waiting, she was going to tell her that she was in love with her.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I am so sorry this update is coming so late! You all have been wonderful to be so patient with me. Work has been super crazy...please bear with me. :)**

* * *

 **Sunday afternoon...**

Casey sat on the couch watching Jason fix her sandwich for lunch. He'd been surprisingly sweet and attentive this weekend. She was forever grateful for his help.

It was also nice to see Jason acting more like his old self again. Seeing him do sweet things for her and take care of her made her feel like maybe they could make it after all, but then there was Alex.

Casey didn't doubt her feelings for Alex, but what was the point in holding out for someone when it could never happen. Why put yourself through that kind of misery? It would be one thing if Alex had the same feelings, but she didn't. She told Casey everything, and she would have told her if she did. Everything would be different then, not the way it was.

Casey lay back closing her eyes. She didn't want to think about how things could be; she needed to think about how they were although those thoughts did not elicit the same happy feelings as imagining her life with Alex did.

Allowing herself a minute to day dream, she imagined Alex in the kitchen cooking, singing to herself as she moved around. She imagined herself standing and walking over to the blonde wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her into a sensual kiss. She imagined breaking apart to look into Alex's eyes and tell her how much she loved her and how she felt so blessed to call her, her wife.

Jason set the plate down on the table next to Casey. "Lunch is served Casey. I hope you like it."

Casey smiled, "Yeah, I am sure I will. Hey Jason, can you get me my phone please? I need to call Alex."

"Casey, Alex is really busy dealing with her charges. I think you should let her handle all of that. Do you need something? Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, I just want to talk to her is all. I want to know if she's okay." Casey sighed as she picked up the sandwich.

"Alright, I will get your phone."

Jason brought Casey her phone. Looking at it, she realized she had a missed call from Elliot. Deciding to call him first, Casey pressed send.

"Hey Casey, how ya feeling?" Elliot's voice carried across the line.

"I am surviving. What's going on?" She asked.

"That's my Casey, always straight to the point. We have run into a problem with Nina, she is refusing to testify now."

"She can't! We won't have a case if that happens. We need her testimony Elliot. You and Liv need to go over right now and change her mind." Casey barked into the phone.

Elliot sighed, "I can try again Casey, but the Captain thinks it would be better if you went."

"Gotcha. Okay, I will go. I am eating lunch now, but I will head that way after." Casey said examining her sandwich. She didn't need to ask why Cragen would want her to go she knew it was because of how she looked. She would gain sympathy votes.

"Thanks Case, let me know how it goes."

"Sure will El." Casey says hanging up the phone.

Jason had gone to take a shower while she was talking and Casey was relieved. She was picking the pickles he had loaded onto her sandwich off and if he was here to see this it would upset him. How has she been with him all these years and he couldn't remember she hated pickles. Quickly eating the sandwich and hiding the evidence, she headed to the bedroom to get dressed.

* * *

 **Next Morning...**

Casey was happy to be back at work. She was beginning to feel a little suffocated at home by Jason. It was nice to have him being so attentive again she just felt different. Maybe the distance between them had caused more damage than she thought. She was also excited that she might see Alex today.

Hearing a knock at her door, Casey looks up to see Kim, Abbie, and Serena standing there waiting to be granted permission to enter. "Hey guys, come in I won't fall apart."

"Well, when you want us to go just say." Kim states flatly crossing the room to a chair near Casey, while Abbie and Serena sit on the couch.

"So, why are you back so soon? Owen thought you were going to take a week off." Kim asks.

Casey sits back in her chair. "Well, my star witness needed persuading to still testify and I had to get away from Jason."

"Jason? I thought Alex was taking care of you?" Serena questions.

Casey frowns, "No, Alex needed to deal with her pending charges."

"What are you talking about? Those were cleared up Friday." Kim states.

Casey shakes her head in confusion, "No, Jason said yesterday she was still dealing with them."

"Casey, I was here Friday and saw her after she took care of it all with Branch. The charges were all dropped Friday. Nina's brother confessed he was intending to kill you and Alex after you. They dropped everything." Kim says firmly.

Casey is so confused and again shakes her head, "Why, would Jason lie about that?"

"Probably because he knows Alex is in love with you." Abbie says without thinking, the horror of her admission quickly showing on her face.

Casey goes pale. "What?"

"I was kidding!" Abbie exclaims.

Casey looks to Abbie and Serena, "What the hell? Alex is in love with me? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"She didn't want us to." Serena answers getting the death glare from Kim. Clearly, Kim wanted to handle damage control.

"Casey..." Kim begins but is quickly interrupted by the blonde in question entering the room.

"Hey Casey," Alex starts quickly realizing she is walking in on something major, "What is going on?"

"Everybody but Alex get out. Now!" Casey exclaims.

"What is going on Casey?" Alex asks walking towards the redhead.

"Get back Alex!" Casey says with a wavering voice. Her emotions are running full speed ahead. She doesn't fully understand everything she has just been told. Taking a breath she looks the blonde square in the eyes, "Are you in love with me?"

"Who told you?" Alex asks in a hurt tone. She was hoping to tell Casey today on her own, not be beat to the punch by someone else.

"Since when?" Casey says defeatedly.

"The beach. You kissed me our first night there and I fell hard. I think I always have I just didn't know it." Alex admits.

Casey stares at Alex and says, "Alexandra Cabot you are a coward."

"What?"

Casey takes a breath but can't control herself as she starts to shake a little as she exclaims, "Why didn't you tell me how you feel?"

"What would it have mattered? You love Jason, and you didn't even remember the kiss." Alex states.

Casey shook her head, "So just because you thought I didn't remember it you thought you were off the hook from being honest with me?"

"You remembered it? Then you are just as much of a coward Casey! Why didn't you say you remembered kissing me like that?" Alex barks back.

"You seemed so freaked out the next morning! Why would I, you were acting like I was the plague or something!"

Alex took a deep breath, "I wanted to tell you Casey. I wanted to be honest and tell you I am in love with you, but what would it even matter."

"What do you mean what would it have mattered?" Casey says in a shaky voice.

Alex picks up on Casey's wavering voice and walks towards her, "Are you saying that if I said 'Casey I am in love with you' that you'd say it back?"

"Yes, I think I love you too…I know I love you more than a friend." Casey says wrapping her arms around Alex and softly pressing her lips to Alex's, enjoying the soft feel of the blonde's lips pressed against hers and the feel of Alex's body under her fingertips. Alex instinctively pulls Casey closer causing her to whimper in pain from her broken ribs.

Immediately, Alex steps back realizing what they were doing. All of it just becomes more than she can handle. Tears begin to stream down her face. Casey walks over to Alex and wipes her tears, quietly she says, "Talk to me Alex. We are both at fault for not talking to each other."

Taking a breath to steady her words Alex says, "I want to hold you. I want to kiss you… I want us to be together… For you to be mine... But because I'm your best friend I want you to think twice if that's really how you feel. I don't want you to just choose me because you're just confused because Jason hasn't been around lately. I hope by giving you time to think about it that you'll realize that I'm the one that you want, but I will promise you that no matter what I will still be here for you whether you choose me or not. I love you Casey I always will and all I want is for you to be happy."

"Alex, I don't need time. I know I want to be with you." Casey says touching the blonde's face with her hand.

Alex shakes her head, "Thank you Casey, but go have dinner or something with Jason, really think this through. If you still feel the same way break it off and come find me. You know where I'll be." With those words, Alex presses a quick kiss to Casey's lips and leaves the office.

Casey sits back down in her chair. Her whole world has been turned upside down in a matter of minutes, in a good way though. Alex is in love with her. Just thinking about it sends a flood of warm feelings surging through her body causing her heart to flutter a little in her chest. Alex is really in love with her. Thinking about it caused a big smile to spread across Casey's face.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you all for hanging in there with me through this story. This will be the last chapter. It's time to start something new. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 **Later that evening…**

Casey lay back in the seat of the cab as the cabbie began to drive to her destination. She was ready to be there already. The last two hours of her life had been completely disastrous and somewhat unexpected. She had never been so excited to get out of restaurant.

Laying her head against the seat she thought back over the last two hours.

 **Two hours earlier...**

"Wow, Jason, when I suggested we go out to dinner tonight I didn't mean a place so fancy." Casey said walking through the door of the five star restaurant.

"Well, you know me, only the best for my girl!" Jason replied with a smile.

Casey couldn't help but roll her eyes, "Yeah, sure."

"Do you think I don't do the best for you Casey?"

"I think you are good at showing up when you want something or need something from me. You use to do the best for me Jason, but not lately." Casey deadpanned.

"Well I am doing something nice now Casey, so why don't you put a smile on your face and act appreciative. And as I recall, I spent this last weekend taking care of you, so be a little more grateful." Jason snapped as the hostess approached.

Casey wanted to turn and leave, but she didn't. She stuck it out so she could definitively say she gave it a shot. Truthfully this whole thing was a joke and she didn't even know why she was going though with it, but if it gave Alex the reassurance she needed then so be it.

Sitting in the chair Jason pulled out for her Casey quickly picked up the dinner menu. She wanted to be as prepared to order as possible so she could make her escape as quickly as possible. Seeing Jason eye her, she looks up.

"You look so beautiful tonight Casey." He whispers.

Casey feels a pang of guilt. Despite the fact that Lionel Granger completely turned the good sweet Jason to the dark side, he still had moments where his good could shine through. It's these moments that has kept her hanging on and it's these moments that are going to make leaving him hard. "Thank you Jason." She says softly.

"Anytime sweetie. So do you know what you want?"

"Yes, do you?"

"Nope. I will figure it out by the time the appetizers arrive though." Jason said with a smile as Casey internally wanted to die. This was going to be a much longer dinner than she wanted it to be.

"Great," she forced out.

The waitress arrived to take their drink orders. Casey tried to order herself a stiff drink, but Jason cancelled that order and ordered Champagne instead. She hated having her drink orders changed.

An hour later their food had arrived and they were about halfway through their meals. Jason so far had told Casey why she sucked at her job and why she needed to go work with him. Then he also implied that when they had kids he expected her to quit work and stay home with said children. By the time the waitress came back to see if they wanted dessert Casey was ready to stab him in the throat with the butter knife.

This date was a disaster and it needed to end. Casey knew she wanted Alex. She didn't need to do this again. It wasn't fair to Jason or her.

Looking at the waitress, Casey said, "No thank you. I think the check will be fine."

"I am sorry ma'am, my date is mistaken, the chef should already have the dessert prepared. I ordered it when I made the reservations it's his specialty." Jason corrected.

Casey let out a sigh. Leave it to Jason to order some ridiculous dessert. Does he remember anything about her? Casey doesn't even really like dessert.

"Jason, I know you are trying to be sweet, but I am not feeling well. Can we just go on home?" Casey asks softly.

"No Casey. This is special."

Casey suddenly get nervous. Jason never does romantics and here he is being romantic. He preordered dessert, ordered them champagne, and is demanding she stay. Casey silently prays that this isn't what she fears it might be. Then she sees the waitress with the dessert coming her way...the gleam of the ring is hard to miss.

"Oh Jason..." Whispers as the waitress sets it before her.

Jason has a beaming smile on his face. "So what do you say Casey? Will you marry me?"

Casey looks up at him, tears slipping from her eyes and whispers, "No Jason I won't."

Jason looks like he has be punched in the stomach, "Excuse me?"

"I won't marry you Jason. Why would you even ask me?"

"Because I love you..." He quietly snaps.

Casey frowns pulling the ring from the cake before cleaning it and passing it to him. It's a pretty ring, but not her style. She likes antique settings and this looks like something pulled right off your standard jewelers shelf. Taking a breath she says, "Jason you don't love me. You can even remember my simplest likes and dislikes."

"What are you talking about Casey?"

Sighing she answers, "You bring me soup when I am sick, yet I hate soup. You put pickles all over my sandwich yet I hate pickles. You think I am a Yankees fan despite the fact I love the Red Sox, you tell me I am a bad prosecutor despite the fact I have a conviction rate most dream of having. You never spend time with me and you clearly can't figure out that I am in love with my best friend. You don't know me Jason and you treat me like crap. So no, I won't marry you. I am going to go now."

"This is because of Alex!" He exclaims drawing attention of nearby patrons.

"No, Jason. This is because you are selfish Jason. Goodbye." Casey said walking out of the restaurant.

 **Present time...**

The cabbie pulled up outside the building. Casey thanked him and paid. Walking inside she greeted the doorman and headed to the elevator. She was so ready to get out of these heels and into something comfortable. She couldn't even believe she put heels on with her ribs still healing. Removing them in the elevator she limped down the hallway in pain. Reaching the door she knocked.

It took a minute, but Alex soon opened the door with a shocked expression on her face. "Casey, I thought you were out with Jason?"

Casey doesn't even answer, she pulls Alex into her arms for a heated kiss. Breaking the kiss, Alex looks into Casey's eyes and softly asks, "Casey did you?"

"I broke up with him Alex. He proposed, I said no and wasn't nice about it. It was awful. But none of that matters, because I want to be with you Alex. I have known for a while, but there is no reason to hide it now. I didn't tell you before because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Please Alex be with me." Casey says while Alex closes the door.

Alex looks at the redhead and slowly walks over taking her into her arms before slowly and softly kissing her. Kissing her softly and letting their emotions slowly turn the kiss into a deeper more passionate kiss both want so much more and slowly start to try and make their way towards the bedroom. Only the knock at the door stops their progress.

Groaning Alex breaks apart from Casey, "I'll be right back."

Walking to the door, Alex grasps the knob in her hand as she looks through the peep hole and sees Jason. She contemplates quickly two options...one she could open the door and punch him in the face most likely resulting in criminal charges knowing Jason, or two she could go spend the whole night enjoying Casey. Smiling at the redhead she releases the knob and walks down the hallway taking Casey's hand and walking into the bedroom.

 **Next Summer…**

Casey lazily opens hers eyes to find her beautiful girlfriend staring back at her. "Hey beautiful, what time is it?"

"8:30. No one's up, so we aren't being lazy yet." Alex answers.

"Ally, there is nothing ever lazy about you and I in bed." Casey says with a chuckle capturing her girlfriend's lips with hers.

Enjoying the heated kiss for a minute, Alex breaks it and says, "We have to get up."

"Why, I had better plans…plans that involve you screaming my name." Casey whispers wrapping her leg around Alex's hips as she runs her tongue across Alex's lips.

Alex groans at the thought. Casey had a way with her tongue...but Alex had this strictly planned. There could be plenty of sex later, but now they had to go. Taking a breath to cool her thoughts while wiggling free from Casey's grip, she said, "No Casey, get dressed quick!"

"Alex! Why?" Casey whines.

"Because Casey, I have something special planned for you. So get up throw on some yoga pants and a hoodie and flip-flops and come on."

Casey scowls at Alex before climbing out of the bed. Quickly dressing she follows Alex from the bedroom and downstairs. As they reach the kitchen, Casey can smell fresh coffee. Looking to Alex, she asks, "Did you make coffee?"

Alex smiled pouring Casey a cup, "Of course I did baby. I know you hate to do anything in the morning before your coffee."

Taking the mug from Alex, Casey says thank you following the blonde outside. "So where are we going?"

"I thought we'd go for a walk down the beach and reminisce." Alex says with a smile.

Casey laughs a little, "Okay, what are we reminiscing about?"

"Well, do you know what today is?"

"Umm, no." Casey says with a chuckle, "What is it?"

Alex looks down the beach and smiles taking Casey's hand in hers. It's a beautiful morning and the waves are calm. This moment couldn't be any more perfect. Casey looks beautiful and so happy. Everything is right.

"One year ago today was the first time you ever kissed me." Alex says softly.

Casey's smile grows big on her face, "How on earth did I forget that! I love that you remembered it." As Casey finishes she kisses Alex.

Pressing her forehead to Casey's, Alex looks into Casey's eyes, "I love you Casey."

"I love you too."

"Read the sand for me Casey." Alex says.

Casey looks at Alex confused as she looks down at the sand and her eyes go wide reading the sand. There was a heart drawn on the beach with the words 'Will you marry me?' on the inside. Looking back at Alex she sees the blonde holding a ring out to her. "Oh my God, Alex! Are you serious?" Casey exclaims.

"Yes, I am. Will you marry me Casey?"

"Yes! God yes!" Casey says wrapping her arms around Alex's neck pulling her into a kiss. Breaking the kiss she smiles at Alex as she slides the ring on her finger. "It's perfect Alex. I love you."

"I love you to Casey. I can't wait to make you my wife." Alex says kissing Casey again.

Breaking the kiss again, Casey smiles wide. "Want to go back to our room and celebrate before everyone gets up."

"I think that's a wonderful idea baby." Alex says turning towards the house before taking off in a sprint towards the house.

"Hey! That's cheating!" Casey says running off after Alex. Life over the last year had changed for the best. She would never regret that drunken kiss it had led her to the love of her life, Alex Cabot.


End file.
